This Side of the Sun
by somebadhat
Summary: Established (kind of) relationship fic. It ain't easy keeping secrets, folks.
1. Chapter 1

New story! It takes place a few years after season five. This story ignores a lot of season six, if not all of it. It doesn't follow the cannon universe in a lot of ways. I kind of just picked what I liked from the story and played with it, 'cause we all know Cady deserved better than what this show gave her. Hope you enjoy it!

Established (kind of) relationship fic. It ain't easy keeping secrets, folks.

* * *

Cady woke up early that morning, her lips dry and her breath visible in the chilly air. She was sitting quietly on the steps of Jacob's back porch, watching the sky. _This cold weather is killing me_ , Cady thought. She was sitting quietly as she slowly came to wakefulness in the cold Wyoming air.

The sky was moving through it's sunrise, deep orange streaks cast across the sky. The back door opened and Jacob stepped out with two steaming mugs in his hands. Passing her tea to her, she took the mug and held it her chest. The sun shined bright, but it couldn't combat the cold on its own.

He sat down next to her and brought his mug of hot tea to his lips. A kiss on his shoulder caused him to turn his head curiously towards her. He leaned back just far enough to wrap an arm around her.

"You're freezing," he said, rubbing his thumb on her arm. He took another sip of his tea. They did this most mornings.

"Like ice." She pushed her toes against him, trying to steal some warmth from him. "But it's worth it." She looked back to the rising sun.

"Jesus," he muttered at her cold skin against his. She took a small sip of her tea, testing how hot it was, and let her thoughts carry her away.

Their affair was amazing. It was the most beautiful part of her life. But on some days, it was also the hardest part of her life. It had been two years, after all. The secrecy was wearing on her.

The way she always parked in the garage while he parked in the driveway so her car was concealed from anyone who drove by was fine for a long time, but it was getting old. It wasn't just that, it was a million tiny things that all added up to her feeling like her life was more lie than truth. It was seeing him at the grocery store and not stopping to talk. It was always coming to his place, never to hers, in case someone stopped over. The constant sneaking around and excuses for her whereabouts when her dad or Henry noticed she hadn't been home in a couple days.

Keeping their relationship a secret was no longer torrid, it was just exhausting. She was tired of lying to her dad, tired of lying to anybody. It had been eating away at her insides for months. She brought it up to him from time to time, but he was never open to making a change. And something _had_ to change before she let the anxiety take over her life completely.

His voice snapped her out of it. "Is there something on your mind?" he asked pensively.

"Honestly?" she asked. A sip from her tea. He nodded. "I want to tell people about us." Maybe it was because she was tired, maybe it was because the beautiful sunrise made her feel bold. But she just had to say it.

She could see his jaw clench immediately. "Cady, we've talked about this," Jacob said with a sigh. "I don't think it's a good idea."

"Please, just hear me out. My dad has Vic now, and he's really mellowed out. And the tribe…"

The mug in Jacob's hand hit the step next to them loudly, tea sloshing out. He stood up, his body tense.

"Members of the tribe would be furious. I'd be accused of corruption, considering what kind of paycheck you get from me. And your dad would love an excuse to put me on the business end of that rifle he carries around." He paced, looking down on her.

His reaction floored her, and she could feel her temper rising. It always led back to this. They'd had this same fight over and over, and she was sick of it.

"So, you'd rather live your life hiding this than go through a few upset egos? My god, Jacob it's been two years." She stood up and looked at him incredulously.

"I don't want to hide any more than you do. But I don't see another way."

"There's another way. You just fail to even consider making a sacrifice for me, despite the fact that I make them for you every single day. I mean what, are you ashamed of me? Do you not want the tribe to know you've chosen a white woman?"

"Stop," he warned. His frustration was building with every word she spoke.

She desperately searched his face for any sign that he could change his mind. His eyes were steely and unwavering.

"I mean it, I don't know how much more of this I can take. I can't hide anymore." Her throat was tightening. "Do you love me?"

He clenched his jaw. "That has nothing to do with this."

"Do you?" she repeated.

"Of course I do."

"Then please, just be with me in front of the world," she pleaded. "What we do – this isn't normal, you do get that, right?"

"Cady… please try to understand." He reached out to touch her but she pulled away. There was nothing but pain to come from continuing this conversation. She knew how it would go. She knew his mind could not be changed, seemingly not for anything in the world. And she loved Jacob. God, did she love him. But she couldn't take another day of hiding.

Before her brain knew what she was saying, the words were already flying out of her mouth. "Nothing's ever going to change. I can't continue like this. I'm sorry, Jacob."

Her words shocked even herself, but it was right. She stood up and walked to his bedroom, Jacob following behind her each step of the way. Disbelief struck him as he saw her take her toothbrush from the bathroom and some clothes from the drawer he had cleared in his dresser for her.

His eyes flashed with disbelief. "You're _sorry_?"

"Yes. I am." Little cracks were forming in her heart. Brushing past him as she walked away, he was lost.

"Please try to be reasonable."

"I am. It's reasonable to want to tell my family and friends about the person I love. It's reasonable to want to be able to go to the grocery store together. To not want to feel like a secret." There were tears in her eyes and her voice was cracking. Finally, she grabbed her keys off the kitchen counter. It was all she could do not to break down and cry.

"Wait- this can't seriously be it. This can't be the end."

"I don't think that it's the end. But I know we can't keep going." Any attempt at keeping herself together was futile. Tears were streaming down her face openly. His eyes were painfully confused, which only made it worse. One minute they had been sharing tea, the next she was gathering her things and leaving him.

He reached out for her, and this time she didn't deny him. Pulling her into him, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. His nose was buried in her hair. She closed her eyes, forcing more tears down her cheeks. Her lips quivered as she tried to memorize every detail of him. His smell, his warmth, the way his body pressed into hers…

"Cady…" he said softly. "Please don't go."

She choked on her own words. "I have to go. I'm sorry."

It took all the strength she possessed, but she pulled herself away. She wished Jacob would take his eyes off of her because she was too ashamed.

She was in her car, driving back to her house. With a sideways glance at her toothbrush and spare clothes, she hit the steering wheel and let the tears flow.

* * *

At work it must have been apparent that she was in a somber mood because the whole atmosphere was quiet and everyone seemed to be tiptoeing around her. She ended up going to her office and closing the door most of the day. Normally she took her lunch to a bench in a nearby park, but she'd been skipping lunch altogether.

She wasn't eating much of anything, her appetite leaving her completely. Mint tea was her go-to all day. After sleeping horribly, tossing and turning all night, she was sure she looked like a mess.

It went on like this for a few days. No sleep, not much food, and spending most of her time in her office. She told herself she needed to be more involved with the legal team and get her spirits up, but she couldn't bring herself to crack a smile. Leaving Jacob was her own choice yet she was falling apart. How could she carry on like everything was fine when it clearly wasn't? Cady missed him. She couldn't sleep without him.

At the end of another bland and quiet day at her desk, there was a tap at her door.

"Hey boss… we closed up a little while ago. Everyone else has left. I just wanted to let you know I left a sandwich for you in the kitchen."

It was Mason Running Bear. If Mason was leaving out food for her than it was clear he noticed she hadn't been eating at work.

She had hired him in the group of applicants from Jacob when the legal aid center had first got up and running. He had family on the tribal council. Other than Mandy, he was one of her oldest employees. He had a long slender face and long black hair that fell to the middle of his back. His eyes were dark but kind and he had a crooked smile. Although he was tall and broad-shouldered, he wasn't intimidating in the slightest.

She forced a smile. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that."

"I know," he said with that crooked smile. "See you Monday."

He left quietly. She walked out to the kitchen and saw the sandwich on the counter. Tentatively, she bit into it, chewing slowly.

Cady didn't have many pictures of Jacob, and certainly none of them together. But she did have one on her phone that he didn't know about. It was one she had quietly taken of him while he was playing his piano. She pulled this picture up on her phone and looked at it shakily.

She thought about the first time they slept together, back when it all started. It had been a late night at the office. Jacob had seen the lights in the windows as he drove home and pulled in to tell her she probably shouldn't stay at the office too late by herself. She told him she just needed another hour to finish signing papers. He didn't look convinced that it was a good idea, so she told him he was free to stay and help.

"I don't think my signature is the one they want," Jacob had said.

"I made signature stamps. All the good lawyers do."

He held out his hand and said, "Show me what to do." She'd smiled at him and told him where to sign. They stayed there and stamped papers repeatedly. At some point she looked over to him, causing him to look up at her too. They looked at each other just a little too long to be decent.

Once they had finished up they had gone to the sink to wash their hands of the ink that had dyed their fingertips black. When she had turned around after drying her hands off he was standing behind her, watching her. She looked up to him, the air thick between them. His eyes were quiet and calm and completely focused on her. And then they were kissing, they were closing the blinds in the kitchen, they were undressing quickly…

When they were redressing, somewhat awkwardly, they agreed it was a one-time thing, not to be repeated.

That was only true till the next time, though. One night Cady was staying late at the office, this time painting the walls. She was trying to brighten the place up a little. Jacob pulled up and it happened again. And again, they agreed this was the last time.

Soon Cady would stay at the office late a couple times a week, not really sure what she was hoping for. Maybe she was hoping he'd see the lights still on as he left the casino and stop to warn her of the perils of being out here alone this late. It went on like that for a while. In reality, the danger was never in being there late at all. She was perilously close to falling for him, despite the fact that wouldn't admit it to herself or see that he was too.

He would stop by and it would, of course, happen again. And they'd say it again, too: this is the last time. It got to the point where neither of them really believed what they said, as they zipped up their pants and straightened their hair. One day, Cady went to his house to tell Jacob she wanted to hire more help. As she was getting ready to leave he invited her in for coffee, and one thing led to another.

Afterward they had laid there and just talked for a while. When it came time to get dressed, neither of them promised that this was the last time. And that was that.


	2. Chapter 2

Cady was going to The Red Pony tonight. She needed a drink. No, _drinks_. She needed something to kill the pain.

Sighing, she also realized she needed to do laundry. It didn't help that her clothes still smelled like him. Not one bit. She started with Crown Royal and decided to go from there.

After about 4 shots, she was feeling loose enough to go dance. In between songs she would come back for another drink, knowing full well that it was a bad idea but not caring a single bit. She would quit drinking when she quit thinking of him.

Henry walked from the back office to the bar, planning to relieve the bartender for a break when Cady caught his eye. She was dancing clumsily to the music on the jukebox. There was a reckless and pointedly drunk air to her movements. To put it mildly, it appeared she was drunk as a skunk. Glancing his way inadvertently, she caught his eye.

"Henry! Oh my god! I am so glad to see you." Cady clumsily and stumbled over to him. She opened her arms dramatically, pulling him into a huge hug. Losing her balance, she grabbed his shoulders tightly for support.

"Your odds were pretty good considering I live and work here." Henry's eyebrows raised. "You smell like you bathed in scotch," he commented, a slight air of concern in his voice.

She snorted. "More like bourbon. That stuff is grrrreat."

"I cannot say I disagree. But maybe some water would do you good right now." He tried to guide her towards the barstools so she could take a seat.

"Psst. Hey. Henry." She used her finger to gesture he should come closer so she could whisper something to him. Henry leaned in, only to jolt back when she spoke loudly into his ear.

"I have something to tell you." She lowered her voice to a dramatic whisper. "I've been in love with Jacob Nighthorse for two years," she said, holding up three fingers. She burped loudly and chuckled.

Henry cringed at her boozy breath, and his expression was quizzical. "Oh, god."

"Right? Total shocker, I'm sure. But I dumped him. I didn't want to hide it anymore." He opened his mouth to respond, but she clumsily tried to press her finger to his lips. Before she succeeded her grabbed her hand and placed it gently back at her side. "Shhh. Shh. It's a secret. Don't tell my dad," she whispered loudly. A chuckle overtook her body. She snorted loudly.

"What is so funny?" Henry asked.

"It's ironic, Henry. Irony. I-ron-y." She broke up each syllable and snorted another laugh. "I left him because I was tired of the secret. But I still can't tell a soul. And I wish I never would have done it because I miss that guy so bad," she mumbled sadly. She leaned her head against Henry's shoulder. "Speaking of Jacob, I should call him. Yeah, I should definitely call him." She pulled out her phone and fumbled to so much as unlock it before Henry snatched it from her hands.

"I would not be a good godfather if I allowed you to drunk-dial an ex." She gasped and looked at him like he had committed a deep betrayal. "I am fairly certain your sober self will thank me in the morning."

She was about to protest again when a waitress walked past. "Hey! Two more shots! Let's go with Jaeger this time," she called out.

Henry met the eyes of the waitress and shook his head subtly, indicating that she should ignore this request.

"I saw that," she slurred. "You cancelled my order. Traitor." She swiveled the bar stool and looked at the person sitting a couple seats down from her. "Whatcha drinkin', cowboy?"

"Crown," he said, slightly confused.

"Perfect," she said. She grabbed his glass of whiskey and knocked it back in one go.

"Hey!" he said incredulously.

Henry looked at him apologetically. "Here – for another drink." He passed the cowboy a five-dollar bill. "I am very sorry."

* * *

Cady woke up, her entire body aching, her head pounding something terrible. _What the fuck_ , she thought. Blinking a couple times, she took in her surroundings. Henry's apartment over the bar. Well, that didn't make sense. She vaguely remembered coming here to drink and dance, but that was all. Apparently, she drank so much she couldn't go home.

She jumped at Henry's voice. "You talk in your sleep, you know that?" He was standing in the kitchenette in his modest apartment, pouring two steaming mugs of coffee.

"Someone might have mentioned it to me before," she replied, squinting at the light. Henry passed a mug off to her.

"Is Jacob that someone?"

She froze, her eyes wide. Why would Henry suggest that? Did she talk about Jacob in her sleep? Or was she so drunk last night that she… oh god. She told herself to play it cool.

"It was not. What would make you say that?"

"You, drunkenly confessing a two-year relationship with him last night. Followed by you stealing other patron's drinks when I cut you off, which was then followed by you sobbing on my shirt about him."

She cringed. "Does it help that I have no memory of anything after my ninth shot?"

"Unfortunately, it does not. I should also mention that you managed to wrangle your phone back from me and locked yourself in the bathroom. I believe you left him a message before you dropped your phone in the toilet."

"I didn't even know you had to confiscate it in the first place. Jesus." She buried her face in her hands in utter embarrassment. "I guess I should thank you for taking care of me last night."

"You are welcome. Let us make this a one-time occurrence, though."

"I think this is the part where I ask you if I said anything embarrassing in my sleep," she said nervously.

"You talked about Jacob. It was mostly nonsense and mumbling, but there was an intelligible 'I miss you.' In all my years of knowing you I have never seen you so torn up over a guy."

"I don't think I've ever been like this over anybody," she agreed. She rested her chin in her hand, and her gaze went out the window. "Last night just got away from me. It's temporary, this place I'm in. Promise."

"It sounds more like you are trying to convince yourself."

Her eyes flickered back to him. His expression was sympathetic, which made her feel weak. "That's probably because I am," she said sadly. "I can't stand not seeing him."

"You and Jacob... I have to say I did not expect that."

She groaned. "I can't believe I told you. I've been so tight lipped for so long. You can't tell anyone, Henry. You can't even let on to Jacob that you know. The reason we broke up is because we couldn't agree whether or not to tell people about us."

"My lips are sealed." He squeezed her hand affectionately. "And I already called the phone company for you."

* * *

Monday at work she made a better effort not to hole up in her office. It was time to stop feeling sorry for herself and try her best to return to normal, whatever that was. She knew Mandy had taken on some extra work in her absent-mindedness, but she hadn't let on to it.

About two and a half years ago, Mandy decided to go get her associate's degree and became a paralegal. Cady spent a lot of late nights helping her study, even talking her down from the occasional meltdown during finals. But she made it through and had a career to speak of now. Mandy had made it out of the cycle of poverty her family lived in her whole life, and Cady couldn't be prouder. Mandy had worked for her as a paralegal for about six months now and was doing well.

She walked around and checked on everyone, asking about their cases and catching up on what she had missed throughout the week. She even took her lunch to her favorite park bench and made herself eat something.

By the time she returned to the office from her lunch hour, she was actually feeling half decent. A little bit of sunshine on her face and peace and quiet did her good. She smiled at Mandy on the way in.

"Hey," Mandy started. "The Big Kahuna is waiting in your office. Fair warning." The Big Kahuna is what Mandy called Jacob.

Any improvement in her mood she had made over the day dropped to the floor. Nodding to Mandy, she nervously walked into her office and closed the door behind her. Jacob was sitting in one of the chairs on the opposite side of the desk. The sound of the door closing alerted him to her presence and he turned his head to her. He stood and looked at her.

"Hi, Jacob," she said. Her voice came out weaker than she intended.

"Hi." He tucked his hands in his pockets. His brooding eyes hit Cady's and nearly knocked the wind out of her.

"What can I do for you?"

Her tone was intended to be professional and he caught on to this quickly. "I'm not here for work. I'm here to talk. You, uh, left me a message Friday night."

This would have been much easier if it was work related. "Okay," she agreed. She pursed her lips. "This is going to sound strange, but what exactly did I say in the message?"

He raised his eyebrows. "You don't remember?"

Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "No. I was blackout drunk."

"You hardly ever drink," he said. He was right, of course, which irked her.

"Yeah, well, I've had a couple reasons lately…"

He pulled out his phone and put it on speaker to play the message. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear but let him play it. " _Jacob Nighthorse. I have something to say to you_." In the background noise was knocking and Henry telling her to unlock the door. Cady cringed in humiliation. " _Go away, I'm busy."_ She looked up to Jacob who was only watching her expression as she listened. " _I still love you. And I think you're crazy to let me go over something so stupid. I'm a catch, you know that? You don't throw catches back, that's why they're called catches. Obviously. Which I am."_ More knocking from Henry _. "And even though I left-"_

She reached for the phone and shut the message off. "That's enough of that, I really don't want to know what I said. I was drunk."

He wordlessly tucked his phone back into his pocket. "You've been on my mind. I needed to see you."

"I know," she conceded. "It hasn't exactly been easy for me either. Case in point," she said, referring to the drunken message.

"Then let's put this behind us."

Her heart nearly stopped. "Are you ready to be with me? Really be with me?"

He pursed his lips and looked down to the floor. Radio silence.

"Then we're back where we started. And I don't think we should see each other if that's the case because I'm hanging on by a thread as it is." Her voice cracked when she spoke.

"You've given me something… that I don't want to live without," he said. "I'm trying. But it isn't easy for me, Cady."

"I don't regret a thing. The past two years have been everything to me. And I meant everything I ever said to you." Her voice broke. Jacob's eyes were filled with grief. "But the fact that I'm done with secrets hasn't changed. You can have all of me or none of me, but you can't just have some of me."

Jacob could see there was no changing her mind without changing his own, and he didn't know how to do that. He took a few steps forward to exit the office. Just as he was about to pass her, he stopped and grabbed her hand.

His mouth close enough to her that she could feel his breath was warmer than the air, and he said, "I'll be waiting for you when you're ready." His dark eyes pierced hers, and all words failed her. He kissed her temple and walked out of her office, closing the door behind himself.

Cady walked over to the chair Jacob had been sitting in and collapsed into it. She buried her face in her hands and sat there trying to process what had just happened.


	3. Chapter 3

A groggy yawn left Cady's mouth as she pulled up to work. Mandy and Mason were standing outside the legal aid center, chatting casually with what looked like a large poster board and stack of papers in their hands. She was laughing at some joke he must have made. As she walked into their vicinity, she asked them what they were holding.

Mason raised an eyebrow. "Don't you remember? We're putting a table up at the school for the career fair today."

She kicked herself with a groan. She had forgotten about the career fair. Jacob had asked her to do this a couple months ago, but she hadn't exactly free from distractions lately. "Right, right, of course."

They disembarked with Mandy riding shotgun and Mason sitting in the middle of her backseat, leaning forward to change the radio station. Mandy swatted his hand away.

"Hey!"

"Front seat controls the music," she retorted.

Cady chuckled. "You guys are like children." Her employees were strange and definitely one of a kind, but she was lucky to have them.

"Whatever," they grumbled, eliciting another chuckle from Cady.

When they emerged into the high school, it was like they entered another world. It was loud and packed full of laughing teenagers, backpacks slung over their shoulders and papers strewn on the floor. As she found the door that had the word 'gymnasium' labeled over it, Cady couldn't help but recognize the stark contract the reservation school held to hers.

The rez school didn't get the same kind of funding that public schools like hers had. It had outdated windows and the paint on the ceiling was cracked. Jacob told her that the textbooks here were often 10 to 15 years old, that there were no computers for the kids to learn practical skills on. It was an unfortunate situation.

They found the table they were assigned to and began spreading fliers out on the table and propping up their poster board. More students were filing in and soon the three of them were passing out fliers and telling kids about what they did at the legal center. Most of the students didn't seem to take what they said seriously, as if they were in dreamland if they thought any of these kids were going to become lawyers and paralegals.

Across the gymnasium, toward the front of the room where the stage stood, was Jacob. He was talking to a woman who she assumed was the principal. He dressed in one of his sleek suits, and even from across the large room, she could see he was radiating charisma. The resentment she felt, for Jacob and this beautiful woman, was so real and immediate it choked her. She looked back to the group of misfits that was her crew and steeled herself. It was going to be a long day.

After the first couple kids stopped by, she could tell Mandy was already getting overwhelmed.

"This won't work," she said. "I won't be good here."

"You're the perfect person to tell them about what you do. They're going to relate to you the most."

"When I was their age I was just a punk. Fuck, I still am."

Cady placed her hands on Mandy's arms. "Look at where you are. You don't think more there are more than a couple punks in this group? Just let them see you. That will do more for them than any amount of bullshitting could."

Mandy glared up at her, hating when she was right. The next girl that came up was a lot like Mandy. Thick makeup and a scowl that said she didn't really want to be there made the resemblance almost uncanny. They seemed to really connect, and the girl actually read the flier Mandy had given her as she walked away.

Jacob's voice caused her to look up. He wasn't next to her, but on the stage up front. Every year he got up there and made a little speech about careers offered by the casino. He gave his spiel about how a lack of a college degree shouldn't stop anyone from a fulfilling and lucrative career and explain how table workers can become managers and pit bosses through hard work.

She turned back to her table and shuffled the papers together. The next words that came out of his mouth were a shock to her. "Our very own director of legal services on the rez is here today to talk to you about how you can have a fulfilling legal career. Cady Longmire everybody, give her a hand."

Jacob clapped himself and looked expectantly at Cady. She must have looked like a deer caught in headlights. They had never discussed her giving a speech at the career fair.

Sweat began to run down her back and fill her palms as she walked reluctantly toward the stage. Standing there in front of the microphone with the crowd of students, teachers, and parents staring back at her, she mentally cursed Jacob for springing this on her. She wasn't sure where to start – she had no clue she'd be speaking today.

The silence grew to an uncomfortable length, but then she caught sight of Mandy, who was watching her closely. She could see in her eyes a curiosity – what are you just going to stand there, or are you going to say something? The kids were all watching her, waiting to see what she had apparently come up on the stage to say. A deep breath, and she starts to tell of how she met Mandy, who started as an intern with little more than initiative to show for but worked her way up to be a paralegal.

The crowd clapped, seeming pleased when she finished. The speech portion of the career fair wrapped up and she watched as students went to stand in line at the legal booth where Mason and Mandy were. She stepped off the stage and walked out the gym doors, down the long hallway, and out to the front of the school. When she was outside again she rested against a bench.

The door behind her opened and Jacob appeared, offering her a bottle of water. "You did great."

She accepted the bottle of water from him with an icy glare.

"Next time a little warning would be nice," she snapped. "I was completely unprepared."

He looked back to her unblinking. "I thought the students would have liked to hear from you," he said. "My mistake." His voice was calculated and measured, and his tone said that he didn't really think it was his mistake at all.

"I'm sure," she said. She wanted to think her animosity had nothing to do with the mental image of him with the alluring principal, but she wasn't so sure.

His face reflected frustration, but there was something else, too, something completely incongruous to the situation. It created a fire in her belly. "If there's a problem you can speak to me in my office about it. Now isn't the time."

"No need," she said bitterly.

She bit her cheek and walked back to her table. Mandy was waiting there. "What was all that about?"

"Nothing."

Mandy rolled her eyes. "You can't lie for shit."

I must be better than you think if I kept Jacob under wraps for two years. "It ticked me off that he didn't warn me I was supposed to speak. And don't say shit, we're in a school."

"But you just said it," she said. Cady shot an irritated look back at Mandy. She just nodded approvingly back to Cady and said, "I like feisty Cady. She's interesting."

That night she laid in her bed, which she had slept in much less often until recently. She was physically tired but wide awake nonetheless.

On the bedside table was her cell phone, and she hated herself for being tempted to call Jacob. She had overreacted today, about the impromptu speech. It really shouldn't have been as big a deal as Cady made it out to be.

Guilty over her outburst, she picked up her phone and dialed his number. As it rang, she was certain it was a mistake and wanted to hang up, but he answered and it was too late.

"Hey," he greeted. He sounded tired.

"Did I wake you?" she asked.

"No," he responded.

Cady wondered if that was the truth or not, but she supposed she would never know. She chewed on her lip, wishing she had thought this through a little more. "About today… I may have overreacted about the speech."

The line went quiet but she could hear his subdued breaths in the empty space. There was an invisible tension between them despite the miles of distance.

"I regret… that things didn't work out for us," he murmured. "But I need to know how long you plan on punishing me for it. I'd hoped our working relationship could still be one I could rely on."

She closed her eyes as she listened to him. Of course, she wanted the same thing. If there could be nothing else, their working relationship would be the last leg to stand on. The worst of it all was how much more she wanted than a professional relationship, how she wanted him to be next to her in bed right in that moment while they spoke about this. But she knew better than to follow that line of thinking.

"I'm done. You can rely on me. It was… a lapse in judgement."

"I understand," he said. "I've had one or two of those myself."

She wondered what he meant by that. "Well, I'll let you go. Um, good night, then." Her throat caught at the point where she wanted to say three words that usually followed that statement.

Jacob must have felt it in that little quiet space because his voice was taut. "Good night, then."


	4. Chapter 4

A slow week had passed by. It was a Saturday, and Cady was reading on her couch when Vic's name showed up on her phone screen. She picked up the phone.

"Hey, Vic."

"Hey. I need you to meet me at the casino. You busy right now?"

"Um, not busy, no. Why do you need me at the casino?"

"I have to go talk to the security guys there and they – well let's just say they don't exactly like me. I may have stepped on their toes from time to time. Everyone loves you down at the casino and I could really use you to bridge the gap."

Cady almost snorted at the irony of her 'everyone loves you at the casino' comment but held it in. "You? Stepping on toes? I'm shocked," Cady said sarcastically.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you be there or not?"

Cady hesitated. She wasn't sure she was ready to put herself in the path of Jacob yet. Although the chances were that she wouldn't bump into him, she generally had crappy luck.

Whatever, she decided. She couldn't avoid him for long in this god forsaken county. "Um, yeah. What time?"

They agreed to meet up in twenty minutes and Vic was waiting for her in the parking lot by the time she arrived. "Took you long enough," she said.

"I think the words you're looking for are 'Thanks, Cady, for dropping everything to come help me,'"

Vic rolled her eyes but conceded. "Thanks, Cady. Now let's get this over with."

They were there for about forty minutes in the security footage room. Vic was right, the guys on the security room truly didn't like her. They addressed Cady most of the time and were much more willing to work with her than they were Vic.

Walking out of the footage room, Vic said, "Told you they hated me."

"Yeah, you didn't exaggerate anything, that's for sure," she chuckled.

They were making their way through a row of slot machines towards the exit when Jacob was walking towards them. He was moving down a flight steps, buttoning the middle button of his jacket. When Cady saw him, she froze instinctively and took a few steps back.

Right as they made eye contact she bumped into someone behind her. She turned to apologize and the man she ran into but found herself being shoved back. She caught herself face first against another slot machine, doing a number on her nose. She turned around to confront him.

"Seriously?" she said incredulously. She had one hand covering her face where she ran into the slot machine.

The man threw his hands up. "Bitch made me spill my drink."

Vic was getting ready to intervene when Jacob was by her side suddenly, grabbing the disgruntled casino patron by the shirt. Cady's eyes were wide with shock as Jacob punched him in the face twice _. Pop, pop_. Jacob released his grip and allowed the nameless man to fall to the floor, his hands on his face and blood trickling down his jaw.

"Nobody touches her like that. Now get the fuck out of my building."

Vic's expression matched Cady's. Complete shock. Jacob stood there, fuming, as he watched the man stand up and leave, cursing the whole way. As if remembering where he was, he took a deep breath and straightened his jacket.

"Well, alright, then," Vic said nonchalantly.

Jacob turned to Cady. She shifted and found herself looking into his eyes. For an instant the world receded and there was just his flushed face, his pulse visible at his temple, his lips slightly parted. He silently tugged on Cady's hand, and she let him pull it down to see that there wasn't any lasting damage.

"You alright?" he asked, his words nearly drowned out.

Cady nodded. "Yeah," she answered.

And just like that, he was walking back to the steps, looking down at his shaking hand. His knuckles were in rough shape and he seemed to be headed back in the direction of his office.

Cady wasn't sure what she expected, but Vic's strangely quizzical face took her off guard. She was glancing between Cady and Jacob, as if trying to figure something out, then gave her head a slight shake as if to clear it out. "Ready to head out, Cady?"

Cady was focused on Jacob and missed Vic's comment completely.

Vic waved a hand in front of her face. "Cady."

She snapped out of it and looked back to Vic. "What?" she said.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah." Cady looked back to where Jacob was, but he was already gone and out of sight.

It had been a few days since she and Vic went to the casino. She thought by now it might get a little easier, being away from Jacob, but she was surprised by just how wrong she was. She learned that the key was just to throw herself into work. At her desk she was typing away on her computer, working on a new case.

A knock on her door.

"Yes?"

Mason opened it and stepped halfway in. "Nighthorse is on hold. He said he needed to talk to you."

"Oh – okay, thank you, Mason." She was surprised Jacob was calling her on her office line. He nodded in response and closed the door. It was most likely work related, so they had a good reason to be talking at least. Cady picked up the phone and let her finger hover over the Line One button as she took a deep breath.

"Come on, Cady, answer the stupid phone," she whispered to herself. Her stomach lifted nervously and her finger plunged on the button. "This is Cady."

"It's Jacob. You're over budget this month. I need you to scale back a little, alright?" Jacob said, getting straight to the point. No 'hi,' no 'how are you,' just exactly what he called for. Good. It was easy this way.

She gave it her best super-professional-lawyer-chatting-to-her-boss voice. "How far over budget?"

"Enough to warrant a phone call. I know you hate turning cases away but we only have the money for so much. The last thing I want to do is lay anyone off."

Cady couldn't imagine any one of her employees not being around. Her whole professionalism bit went out the window, not that it was very good in the first place. "Whoa. Okay, next month we'll take on fewer cases," she said.

"Cady…"

"Alright, alright," she said. "I'll look it over tonight and see what I can do."

"Don't stay at the office too late."

Cady held the phone to her head with her shoulder as she shuffled through files on her desk, but her hands paused at that. "We'll see," she said. She heard him sigh on the other end of the line.

In the pause she could picture his expression – lips pursed at her defiance rather than just saying, 'Okay, I won't.' Whether he was actually making that expression, who knew, but the mental image was strangely comforting to her.

She expected to bring up the fact that he recently punched out a stranger for her, or him to bring it up first. She had imagined what she would say about it all week. Should she thank him? Scold him? Ask if his hand was okay after smashing that guy's face in?

She had decided on the self-dignified route. _I don't need you to take care of me_ , she'd say when it came up. _I take care of myself. It's what I do._

But it didn't come up. There was commotion in the background on his end of the line.

"'Bye, Cady." The line was dead before she had time to so much as say "'Bye," back.

Outside the window by her desk, Cady saw her dad's notorious Bronco park in front of the office. She hadn't been expecting him, but she never really expected any of his visits. He just came and went as he pleased, which she had grown used to long ago.

She set down the phone still cradled in her shoulder and walked over to the truck so she could greet him. "Hi, Dad."

"Hi, Punk."

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" she said with a smile.

"I thought we could grab lunch, if you have time for a break today."

"Absolutely," she said with a smile. "It would be a welcome distraction."

The police radio buzzed then fuzzy words came through. It was Ruby. "Shots were fired at Four Arrows Casino. There's a gunshot victim, adult male, fifties, native and currently unidentified. Tribal Police may need backup. The suspect fled the scene, so be careful, Walt."

The words echoed in Cady's mind as her dad responded to the message. Gunshot. Adult male. Fifties. Native. Casino.

Jacob's face flashed in her mind.

"I got to go, Punk. Raincheck on the lunch."

She nodded distractedly. Her mind was panicking. That description sounded an awful lot like…

Her dad took off in his Bronco. Without thinking, she grabbed her own keys and ran to her Jeep. Her tires squealed as she started in the direction of the casino, needing to see with her own eyes what happened. The very worst images plagued her imagination – him lying somewhere, bleeding, a hole in him threatening all that he is, or worse, having already taken him. She kept her foot heavy on the gas pedal and tried her best to keep her hands from shaking. _Please don't be Jacob. Please don't be Jacob._

Red and blue lights flashed around the casino. Tribal police were there already. When she pulled into the parking lot, her dad was already out of his truck and walking quickly towards a tribal officer.

Cady jumped out of her Jeep and slammed the door, her eyes searching wildly for any sign of Jacob. Walt noticed Cady behind her and looked at her incredulously.

"Cady, what are you doing? Get out of here, now," he growled.

To his chagrin, she ignored her dad's order. She paced as her eyes scanned faces.

In the background, a tribal officer filled Walt in. "The victim is already en route to the ER. The shooter still hasn't been identified. Hopefully if the victim pulls through he can tell us something once he wakes up."

The victim is already on his way to the hospital. If she can just find Jacob, that will mean he's okay. She didn't see him. She didn't see him anywhere. Where was that tidy business suit and colorful shirt? Where were his inscrutable eyes? Silently, she prayed not in an ambulance.

She was moments away from getting back in her Jeep and flying to the hospital when, across the parking lot, she saw Mathias and her heart jumped into her throat. He was talking to Jacob, who appeared to be just fine. A cry of relief left her lips. Relief struck her so hard she was surprised her legs didn't collapse out from under her right there.

Jacob glanced her way and did a double take. He was looking at her quizzically, his eyebrows knit together with concern. She could all but see the question in his eyes: what the hell are you doing here?

She desperately wanted to run up to him and throw her arms around his neck and hold him tight, regardless of who saw them. But she didn't, because she couldn't. She held his confused gaze for another moment before turning away, ignoring her dad's angry outbursts as she walked back to her Jeep.


	5. Chapter 5

Cady stayed late at the legal aid center and left every light in the office on. She sat on the porch attempting to enjoy the beautiful night, hoping Jacob would show up. After coming back to work, she wasn't able to get a scrap of work done. She was useless, and she would be until she saw him, because that sickening feeling of thinking Jacob had been shot still hadn't left her.

Sure enough, about an hour later, headlights pulled into the space before her office building. Jacob stepped out of the driver's side and walked around his car a few steps. Cady smiled at him. "Hey."

"You know, you probably shouldn't stay at the office too late on your own," he said. His mouth curled up on the right side, like he was preparing to smirk. He said it just like that first time, before they stamped her signatures and it all began. "I saw the lights on from the road…" Their old smoke signal.

"Yeah. I was hoping you'd see and stop in. I just… needed to talk to you."

"About what?"

She laughed at herself and shook her head. "I have no idea. I didn't think that far head."

He slowly walked over to her and sat next to her, his butt against her hip. Cady felt it – the nervous warmth of touching. In the dark beside her, he smelled of sweat and pine, and on that thin-mooned night she could see little more than his silhouette. But even in the dark she could see his eyes – fierce emeralds. He had the kind of eyes that predisposed you to hanging onto every word he said whether you like it or not.

"I saw you at the casino today," he said quietly. "I admit it took me off guard. I wasn't expecting to see you among the chaos."

She bit her lip. "I was with my dad and I heard over the CB radio that an Indian man at the casino was shot, and I was scared that it was you. I half expected you to be dead."

"Well, it wasn't me. Everything is alright."

Jacob's eyes must have adjusted to the darkness because he was watching every move on her face. Cady felt the intensity of his eyes on her and looked away nervously.

"At the end of the night we've all seen better days," she said. "I'm glad you're okay." She leaned her head on his shoulder, letting herself fit into the little crook there.

"Me too. You know, you shouldn't have come. If the shooter was still active… I could have lost you."

"You don't have me," she said faintly.

He looked down, unhappy with her response. "That's not the point."

She looked at him and shook her head, really for no reason. "Look, I'm not going to be one of those people who sits around talking about the same problem over and over. I'm just not."

Jacob remained silent, processing the moment.

"We can't keep doing this," Cady said.

She talked softly and thoughtfully, like she was telling him a secret, and suddenly he was overwhelmed with the feeling that they must kiss, right there on that dusty porch. Because she was right, he didn't have her, and he couldn't stand for that fact to be true for another second. He leaned in and felt the shockwave of her so-soft lips against his.

This was the unraveling of both their resolves. She pulled her mouth away, gasping for breath, leaning into Jacob's touch. If she took the time to think rationally about what they were doing, she might have been able to stop it. But desire overtook her, because it felt right to be in his arms, even temporarily.

They moved through the open door of the office and kicked it behind them, their lips hardly ever losing contact. Walking backward to the kitchen, Cady pulled his jacket down his arms. She wasn't going to think about tomorrow. There was no tomorrow.

Only one of the blinds needed shut and it only took a moment. With all his might, he broke off the kiss to flip off the lights. He returned, his lips finding her neck as he worked on unbuttoning her pants. His deft fingers succeeded and pushed them down her thighs. In one fell swoop he lifted her onto the counter and settled between her legs. Cady was done with the buttons on his shirt and pushed it down his shoulders like she had with his jacket.

He stood there, bare chested, and pulled her shirt over her head smoothly. She reached behind her back and unhooked her own bra. Grabbing her face, Jacob brought her in for another earth-shaking kiss. They pressed themselves together, skin on hot skin, eliminating any air between them as her legs wrapped around his waist. She unzipped his pants and knew with great anticipation this encounter was going to burn fast.

They fucked right there, with heavy breaths against each other's mouths and sweat sticking between them. Cady was entranced by him, by the way a man with such power and control could move so uncontrollably. He lost every ounce of that power and control at her feet, and she was responsible.

As he slowed to a stop, it was over with one last mesmerizing stroke, and they stayed there motionless. Jacob had yet to leave her body, as if he couldn't stand for it to be over. His body was stiff against hers, chest to chest, his nose pressing into her cheek.

She turned her head, disconnecting them. This caused him to take her jaw in his hand and bring her back to him, looking her right in the eyes.

"Come home with me. I'm not done with you. I'm not even close." His other hand was holding her waist tightly. She wondered if he knew how hard his fingers gripped her. "I want you. I want to take you home, to my bed, and do this right. Not… not out here. Not like this."

She hesitated. What they just did was a slip, an accident. It was a conversation that led down a mistaken path. But to go home with him, to spend hours in his arms… that was a choice. And once she was in his bed, she wasn't sure she would have the strength to leave again. She barely had the strength to leave his warm embrace now, she thought.

She was looking into his eyes as though trying to memorize every detail, every minuscule shift in color and expression.

By the sad look in her eyes he knew what she was going to say before she even said it.

A silent moment passed and she stroked her hand through the longer hair on the back of his head. "This was the last time, Jacob." It was what they had said to each other every time they broke down and slept together again two years ago. But the strange thing was, this time he believed her. Because, maybe for the first time, she meant it.

He kissed her hard. She responded desperately, pulling him closer until the kiss ran its natural course. And then she stood up, dressed herself, and left without so much as looking at him over her shoulder.


	6. Chapter 6

So sorry for the longer-than-usual gap in updates. This story was 100% written and then as I was posting it, certain parts jumped out at me that I really needed to fix. Things are back on track! I just have some finishing touches but the main wrinkles have been ironed out. Next chapter soon!

* * *

Jacob sat on his back porch, watching the sun rise. The leaves were falling and the cold wind was blowing around him.

Sitting on the porch to watch the sunrise was more of Cady's thing than it was his. She told him she liked to be around for sunrises and sunsets because then she was guaranteed to see at least one beautiful thing that day. She had said to him that it's important to put yourself in the way of beauty.

He understood it, but it was still something he did with her just make her happy. He was more interested in her love for the sky than the actual sky itself, although it was certainly very alluring. But when the sun hit that red hair… that was his way of putting himself in the way of beauty. Of course, Jacob never said those thoughts out loud. He wasn't an emotionally expressive man, and he was sure Cady understood this.

Today he was watching just because he missed her. God, he hated admitting that. It made him feel small, like he wasn't in control of himself. But he couldn't even deny it to himself, being that he wouldn't be watching the sun come up unless he did.

Jacob wasn't sure how he'd ever get over those blue eyes. He saw them everywhere. He missed the way she couldn't fall asleep without him and would wait for him to close his eyes first before allowing herself to. It was strange not having anyone wait for him to get in bed anymore. There was nothing to prepare himself for what it was like when the only thing he could think of from the second he woke up in the morning till he forced himself to sleep at night was her.

One day they were sitting side by side, watching one of those sunrises. Or was it a sunset? He wished he could remember. Anyways, they were sitting side by side, and her head was on his shoulder, and out of nowhere she just said, "I feel so happy I could die." Just like that. And he remembered telling himself she made sense for him. He knew she made sense because he required his solitude, but somewhere along the way it felt like she became a part of his solitude. Like they were alone together, shutting out the rest of the world.

He shook his head at himself. If he had just let his doubts go and given her what she wanted, no more secrecy, they'd be watching this sunrise together. And Jacob kicked himself because even now, he wasn't sure he'd be able to do it even if he wanted to. It wasn't easy, giving up his heart. And to tell everyone, to make it official…

His frustration with himself was boiling over. He threw his mug against the ground and shattered pieces flew in every direction. Walking back into his house, he slammed the door and angrily got ready for work.

* * *

"Everyone, go ahead and go home early today. We're cutting back on cases, so take the rest of the day off and enjoy a long weekend."

Mandy smacked her ass, causing her to jump. "Hell yeah, sister."

Cady tried to shoot her a disapproving look, but the smirk that crept onto her mouth made it hard. Mandy knew she blushed easily and enjoyed taking every opportunity she had to make it happen. Mason was at his desk, chuckling at Cady's expression.

"Ha ha, very funny. Get out of here before I fire you," she said, holding back a laugh.

"You bluff," Mandy said. "Want to know how I know?"

Cady chuckled. "How do you know?"

"Because you love me, Cady, even if you won't admit it," she teased. She grabbed Cady's face and planted a wet kiss on her cheek. This drew some laughs from their coworkers.

She was right, and they both knew it, but she kept up the playful banter. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever you say." Cady shot her an affectionate smile and began shuffling papers to tidy up.

Everyone cleared out, one by one, until it was just Cady. She sat down on a desk chair. Resting her chin in her hand, her gaze was fixed the counter in the kitchen through the opening in the doorway. Nothing but a blank space to act as a canvas for the replay of what she and Jacob did in that spot. She could almost taste him in her mouth.

* * *

With her open day, she decided to go with dinner at the Red Pony. If she sat around her house all day she would drive herself crazy. The first half of her day she decided to start an impromptu project of building a porch swing. Dinner at the Red Pony was her reward to herself for nearly finishing, just needing to apply a couple coats of stain to complete it.

She was sitting at the bar, nearly done with her burger, when she heard her name. "Cady." Mason was approaching her. "Looks like we had the same idea with how to spend our day off."

"It appears so."

He slowly walked over to the barstool next to her, watching Cady as he did so. She leaned back. "I hope it doesn't seem like I'm prying. But I was wondering if you're doing okay."

"Oh, yeah, I'm great." Lie number one. She was sad. But she smiled her most convincing smile. "Really looking forward to this long weekend, now." Lie number two. She could really use the distraction and was dreading the amount of free time she was facing.

It was clear he wasn't buying a word of it. He had kind eyes, but they were skeptical. "I've worked for you for nearly three years. I'd like to think we're friends."

She smiled weakly. "We are."

"Then you can tell me if you aren't okay."

She cleared her throat, trying to break the silence that followed his comment. "Um… I really am okay. You just caught me at a bad time. I'm…" Screw it, she might as well give him a little honesty. "Going through a tough breakup," she finished.

"Ah. I actually just went through one of those myself. It wasn't exactly… fun."

She nodded and crossed her arms. "I ended it a few weeks ago, but it wasn't really _over_. But a couple days back it ended for real. It's _over_ over now."

"Can I ask why?"

"You're full of questions today, huh?" she said. Something about him made her want to answer though. He had trusting eyes. She fidgeted with the drink menu in front of her. "We, uh, weren't really out in the open with our relationship, and I wanted to be. I told him he could be with me in front of everyone, or not at all. And he couldn't… or wouldn't. And that was it."

"That sucks," he said. "I'm really sorry."

"What about you?" she asked.

"Me?" he asked.

She nodded again. "Yeah, you. I thought you were dating that girl from the, uh, the hospital. That doctor."

"I was. I ended that about a month ago. She was too rich for my poverty-soaked blood."

"That's too bad," Cady said.

Mason shrugged. "Wasn't meant to be. What about you and your guy?"

"I really care about him. I mean, we were hopeless. Maybe even badly matched," she told him. "But still, I said I loved him. I've never said that to anybody else. Even though our chances of failure were probably, like, ninety-nine percent, I'm sad."

"It is sad," he said.

"Is it stupid that I miss him? Even though he couldn't choose me?"

"No. It's not stupid."

"I knew it was inevitable. But even when we fought… I don't know, it was nice, having someone you could always fight with. I don't know what I'll do now."

"You can fight with me," he offered. He leaned back and wrapped his arm around her in a gesture of comfort.

"I can't be mad at you, you harmless skinny bastard." She leaned her head on his shoulder and they sat there quietly.


	7. Chapter 7

Jacob was headed to Henry Standing Bear's bar, driving through the dusty Wyoming roads that led away from his house on the outskirts of the rez. He'd called in a burger before leaving work.

A song came on the stereo that only went for a few bars before he changed the station. Once, the song had come on the radio at home, and Cady had jumped up and tried to get him to dance to it.

He protested, but eventually she convinced him. Cady was a lawyer, after all, and winning arguments was technically her job. And so Jacob had begrudgingly wrapped his arms around her and stepped in a small circle, but after a few moments he was singing the words quietly into her ear. He'd done it to satisfy her, but in reality, it had been nice. Not that he would ever admit it.

All in all, it wasn't a memory Jacob was interested in reliving today. As he moved further down the road the bar resided on, he couldn't help but notice Cady's Jeep in the parking lot. He'd passed the legal aid center and saw it had been empty all day. That must have been her way of trying to stay under budget.

Gravity drew him to pull off and cruise slowly down the drive leading to the red building. Slowly sauntering through the front door of the bar, Jacob clenched his jaw.

Cady was sitting at the far side of the bar, and next to her was a man. A lanky but handsome employee of hers. Jacob knew he recognized him, knowing he was recently at the career fair. He couldn't put a face to the name, although he was fairly certain he was responsible for his hiring a couple years ago. Mason? Yes, that was his name. And Cady's head was resting on Mason's shoulder. Bitterness flowed through him as he saw that this man had an arm around Cady, seemingly comforting her.

Jacob looked away before stepping off and walking up to the bar, wanting to get the damn burger he ordered and leave.

"Order for Jacob," he said to bartender shortly.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cady lift her head off Mason's shoulder and look his way. Must have heard his voice. Their eyes met, her expression doe-eyed and vulnerable. Jacob knew his expression was stone-cold, and he didn't really care. For more than a moment, they took each other in. Jacob ground his teeth as Mason's arm was still around her.

He broke her gaze as a paper bag was brought to him and he passed cash to the bartender. "Keep the change."

Glancing at her one last time, he saw her shrug Mason's arm off and mutter a few words to him. He turned his back as he walked back to his car and opened the door, tossing the bag of food haphazardly in the passenger seat in his fuming state. The sound of soft footsteps behind him told him Cady was following him out.

"Jacob."

He shut his car door louder than intended. Cady was looking at him precariously.

Jacob knew Cady always had suitors, that wasn't really what bothered him. Obviously, people would want her. That made sense, why wouldn't they? What bothered him was the realization that there was nothing stopping her from one day being with someone else. He couldn't even allow himself to entertain the thought. He found himself grinding his teeth every time. Little did he know how deeply he was held captive by this woman.

"Mason Running Bear?" His voice was callous.

"Don't."

"You appeared rather cozy in there." He crossed his arms and waited for Cady's response.

She paused, her eyes searching his face. "What do you want to know?"

He furrowed his brow. "Are you… moving on?" he asked slowly.

Cady shook her head. "I hope that's a joke. He was just being nice to me. You can't seriously believe I'd sleep with my employees."

"No, just your boss."

Pain flashed in Cady's eyes, and Jacob knew then that his comment had crossed a line. She shook her head at him.

"You're a real bastard." Her fists were clenched at her sides and tears were welling up in her eyes.

All the bitterness that previously occupied him had diffused, and now he was watching her with regret over his poor choice of words.

"Okay. I admit, that was harsh. I-"

But Cady was already turning around and walking toward her car to leave.

"Hey. Just wait." She ignored him and he took off walking behind her.

"Leave me alone."

"Cady."

Only silence in return. She opened the door to her Jeep but only made it a couple of inches before Jacob reached over shoulder and shut it. A heavy sigh left her lips.

Her back was still to him. "Just leave me alone," she said over her shoulder.

His hand was still on the window of the door where he had pushed it shut, causing him to be rather close to her back. "I just want to make sure you're alright," he murmured.

She threaded a hand through her auburn hair and turned to him, their bodies only inches apart. Her face was flushed and her eyes were red. Their eyes locked and her heart sank.

"No, I'm not alright. Okay? Are you satisfied? Because I'm not alright," she said. "You made me give you up. You put me through hell. And at the bar - I can't breathe when you look at me like that. So just stop, okay? Let me go home. I'm really trying hard to be happy here."

Jacob sighed and lowered his head.

"And what if I was moving on, Jacob? What then?" she asked.

He swore under his breath. "Do you always have to be this stubborn?"

He stepped in, and she looked down between them like an offense had just been committed.

"What are you doing?" she said.

"If you were moving on, I'd ask you to give me more time," Jacob muttered in a low voice. "I'd ask you not to walk away."

And in that moment that was exactly what he was asking her to do. This wasn't hypothetical. A lump formed in the back of Cady's throat and she swallowed hard.

"You used to be bold. Whatever you've been lately – I don't recognize it. And if I thought you were ever going to claim me, we'd still be together. But I lost hope on that a long time ago."

The sting of rejection hit him square in the chest. Jacob wasn't a vulnerable man, but for Cady, he was trying. And it was thrown back into his face.

"That's wrong. We both know it's more complicated than that."

"It's bullshit. It's a bullshit excuse." She poked him on the chest.

"You don't understand. I've had to fight for every scrap of respect I have in the Cheyenne community. People don't respect me, not the way they do Henry," he said. "To some I'm just a white man play-acting as an Indian. Others see me and they see a bad man who's merely pretending to be good."

"You don't think I understand, but I do. Clearly. It's about you and your obsession with perception. What will they perceive when they hear you're with your younger _white_ employee? Maybe something you can't handle."

He gave out a mirthless laugh, completely taking Cady off guard. He backed up a few steps, shaking his head at her.

"What are you doing?" Cady asked.

"Leaving. You've done it, you should recognize the gesture."

She groaned and got into her jeep, slamming the door loudly, hoping he felt it in his bones.


	8. Chapter 8

A full month had passed since Jacob and Cady met at the Pony. In that month, nearly zero encounters had occurred between them. Other than a couple emails about work – with the utmost professionalism – they hadn't spoken directly.

Cady stood before Jacob in his office at the casino for the first time since their last anger-filled encounter. She had even made an appointment, trying to make this encounter as efficient as possible. She was handing him a vacation request for a week off work.

He was opening the vacation request and scanning over it silently while Cady stood there silently.

"Where are you headed?" he asked distantly.

"San Diego. I could use a little sun and distance to clear my head."

Jacob's eyes lingered on hers, knowing full well the reason was him. An image flashed in his mind, one of the very first time Cady ever spent the night at his house. They'd been sleeping together for quite some time, but it wasn't a level of vulnerability he had reached yet. It was always slow with him – inch by painstaking inch – as he slowly let Cady bleed into him like ink on paper. But this time, as she prepared to go home as usual, he had gripped her eyes and told her there was no need to go. They'd gone outside on the back porch, enjoying the night, before climbing back into his bed to let her fall asleep resting against him.

It had been the first time in years another person had shared his bed. Jacob laid awake for hours that night, just holding her, just trying to get used to the feeling of her bare skin against his. Vulnerability wasn't a sensation he welcomed, but this was different somehow. For once he preferred the discomfort of being vulnerable over the comfort of being alone.

Dropping his gaze, he realized he allowed his eyes to linger too long. Jacob read over the dates and pulled up his calendar. He adjusted the lapels of his jacket. "You aren't interviewing for jobs in other cities, are you?" he joked distractedly, as if he was trying to break the tension.

Cady busied herself with an artifact on his desk. At her silence he looked up at her suspiciously.

"Cady…"

She met his eyes apologetically. The answer was in her eyes. He stared back at her in what she recognized as genuinely stunned silence, something she wasn't accustomed to seeing on him.

"I'd help you find my replacement," Cady said quickly. "And train them on the specifics of the job. There'd be plenty of notice. In the meantime, Mandy can take over. She shows-"

"Real initiative. Yeah, I got it." He tapped his fingers against the desk in frustration. "I don't want a replacement."

Cady could see he was mad. She wished she could tell him what he wanted to hear, but that just wasn't possible. "That's not up to you, Jacob."

"Clearly." Jacob stood up and walked over to the window, looking out with his hands on his hips. He was processing this information unhappily. Cady, leaving Absaroka County for good. Leaving him for good. His previous assessment was correct, she truly did mean it when she said they had been together for the last time. A hand came up to stroke his goatee.

"You told me I could rely on you. That I could count on our professional relationship. Funny, I'm usually better at sniffing out a lie than that," he said with a frown.

His cold tone hit her hard. "I wasn't lying," Cady shot back. "I didn't know I wanted to leave then. But now… I need to. For myself. There's nothing keeping me here. My dad doesn't need me anymore, and the legal aid has grown and can be passed on." Her eyes softened as he turned to her looking bruised. "I need to get over you, and I'll never do that here."

"Seems like an extreme way to solve a problem."

"To you, maybe. Please approve this vacation."

"You do realize what you're asking me to do? Any job you interview for you'll get. I'd be signing off for you to leave."

"If you care about me at all you won't stop me from going. This isn't an ultimatum or some way to manipulate you. Can we please just do this one thing without arguing?" she pleaded. "I just want to leave Absaroka County. It was always the plan before we… it was always the plan before a lot of things."

His dark eyes held hers. This caused a shiver to run down her spine as she willed herself to look away but couldn't quite manage it. He dropped his eyes first to the request in front of him, his fingers toying with the pen in his hand.

"Can I change your mind?"

"No," she said. "Even if I stayed, I'm not the answer to the questions that you still have."

He held her gaze silently. "Okay," he said solemnly.

Clicking the pen, he leaned over and signed the vacation request, knowing it was his only option. He held the paper out to her, their fingers brushing as Cady grasped it. She felt a shock where her fingertips touched his, and he kept his grip on the paper, not yet allowing her to take it.

"Is this the last time we're going to see each other?" he said quietly.

"I don't know," she said. "I think… that I hope so."

A bullet through his chest would have hurt less. He released his grip on the paper and allowed her take it.

Shaking his head, he said, "You have no idea. The effect you can have."

Cady wished she could tell him how ironic that was, the effect _he_ had on _her_. Desperately, she dreamed of him at all hours of the night, but what did that matter?

* * *

Sitting at a bar in sunny San Diego, Cady was surrounded by that magical sound of many people talking all at once. How could every person there have so much to say at the same time?

Cady was trying to be happy, she really was. After all, she was in San Diego, and had spent the day basking in the sun at the beach. She had even gone to her job interview, and to her surprise, was offered the position of the spot.

But a realization hit her and she couldn't so much as crack a smile. The only person she wanted to tell was Jacob, and she couldn't. She couldn't possibly expect him to be happy for her. It meant their separation was not only real, but permanent and irreversible.

As Cady sat at the bar, attempting not to look as miserable as she felt, a man sat next to her. "You look like you could use a drink," he said. Cady looked up and took him in. His hair was cropped short and his face was tanned.

"Yeah, I could use one," she said. He signaled the bartender. "Bourbon. Crown Royal, if they have it."

The nameless man got the attention of the bartender and ordered her drink. Upon its arrival she took it, relishing the burn in her throat. The man nodded in approval, smiling at her provocatively. "A girl who can handle her liquor. I like it. Let me guess, you're an out-of-towner."

"You're good," she said. She peered back at him. "Marine Corps?"

He chuckled. "You're good," he parroted back. "How'd you tell?"

"Your tan lines and haircut are dead giveaways, coupled with the fact that there's a Marine base nearby."

"And here I thought it was just a lucky guess. Aaron," he said, extending a hand.

Cady looked down at it. This guy was clearly a flirt. She grasped his hand and shook it anyways. "Cady."

"So tell me, Cady. What's a pretty girl like you doing looking so glum in a bar on a Saturday night?"

She took another burning gulp. "Celebrating a job offer."

He leaned in with a sly smile on his face. "If we go back to your hotel, we can celebrate together."

Cady parted her lips to politely decline his advance, but something stopped her. He was shamelessly making a pass at her, she knew. But there was a voice in the back of her head, one she couldn't tune out. Was this the way to get over Jacob? Replace his arms with another's?

Her mouth went dry. She didn't say a word, she only nodded and finished her drink. He put a couple dollars on the bar and followed her out to the sidewalk.

One second, they were standing out there in the dark, looking at each other expectantly in the neon glow of the bar sign, and the next his lips were upon hers.

She tried kissing him back, but she hated the feeling of them against hers. She hated it. She hated the way he shoved his slimy tongue in her mouth, the way his sweat was rubbing across her face, the way it made her wish she was experiencing one of Jacob's kisses. The ones that were soft like summer rain.

Cady tried stepping back, but he took it as a chance to press closer. She wanted it to end. Putting her hands on his chest, she forced him back. "Stop! Just… stop."

"Sorry…" he said. "I didn't know."

Without answering him, she turned and walked briskly in the other direction. It wasn't the way to her hotel, but she would walk around the block. She just didn't want to see his face for another second. Her hands were shaking, so she shoved them into her pockets of her jacket roughly as she walked, trying not to let herself think about it too much. Or think about Jacob too much.

It was a lost cause though, because her skin was crawling and she was frustrated and angry, and only wanted to feel his arms around her. Only Jacob knew how to hold her, how to touch her, how to keep her. She imagined him walking beside her, even taking her hand and squeezing it, even though that wasn't something Jacob would ever do. Not in public, anyways.

Cady pulled out her phone and looked at her only picture of Jacob again. Her chest tightened as she imagined Jacob doing the same thing she had just done. She imagined Jacob in another woman's arms, Jacob making love to someone else. The need to hear his voice overwhelmed her, and she dialed his number as she walked down the dark street.

The voice of the man she craved for came through the speaker. She closed her eyes and took in its low rumble. "This is Jacob Nighthorse," it said. "Leave a message." A dial tone beeped, and the voicemail was running.

"Hey, Jacob. Um, here I am leaving you another message, I guess. This one will be better than the last, I promise." She chuckled half-heartedly at the memory, or lack of memory, of her previous attempt at a message. "Anyways, I just wanted to call and tell you… I'm leaving Durant. For good. I got the job down here in San Diego. You were right, they loved me." She sucked in a deep breath.

"I just… need to get out of that town. I'll be flying back to put my house up for sale and wrap up my ongoing cases, but after that-" Her voice cracked and tears welled in her eyes. She was glad he couldn't see. "Listen… I don't want to be mad anymore." As hard as she tried, she knew her voice betrayed that she was on the verge of tears. "Let's just be glad we had some time to spend together. There's no need to watch the bridges that we're burning."


	9. Chapter 9

The hot sun was beating down on Cady's skin, heating her through. Her toes dug into the glassy sand as she watched the waves in front of her roll infinitely towards her.

Cady had another four days to spend in San Diego, and she was determined to enjoy – or attempt to enjoy – every moment. She made sure to call her dad at least once to let him know she was doing okay and give him her hotel information in case of emergency, mostly to make him feel better. She hadn't told him or Henry about the possibility of her leaving yet, preferring to let it remain in the dark till she came home.

She looked down at her phone. There was a missed call from Jacob. He'd been calling her at least twice a day since she left him the message telling him she got the job and was leaving Durant for good. Every message said the same thing, give or take a couple words. "Call me back, Cady."

And she wanted to pick up, she really did, but she had been so weak for him since she made the mistake of kissing that guy at the bar. Jacob made her feel like no one else, but if she was talking to him, letting him try to convince her to stay, then she wasn't getting over him. And that's what she needed.

* * *

Jacob sat on Walt's front porch. It was a clear-skied evening with the sun near setting. There was probably half an hour of light left, and he tried to enjoy the scenery before he had to deal with Walt Longmire.

Walt walked out in a pair of jeans and a halfway buttoned denim shirt, per usual, and his rifle in hand. He set the rifle against the house and was finishing up the last couple buttons as he looked at Jacob, sizing him up and silently wondering why the hell he was on his porch.

"What do you want, Jacob?"

"I want to talk to you about Cady."

Walt looked at him like he'd rather staple himself to a burning building than talk to Jacob Nighthorse about his daughter, but when he spoke his tone didn't reveal anything to that effect. His voice was measured. "Well go ahead then," he said.

"You really had to bring that rifle out here, didn't you?"

"Yep," was all Walt said.

Jacob took a deep breath, thinking he was crazy for what he was about to say. "Cady is… well, she's stubborn. You know how those Longmires are…" he trailed off. Walt shot him a look as if to say _watch it_. Jacob knew better than to push his luck. He shook his head as if to get it straight. "I need to know where Cady is staying in San Diego. I know she gave either you or Henry the info."

"Sorry, Jacob. If she wanted you to know where she was, she'd have told you. Afraid you're just going to have to wait for her to get back."

"It's important. She wants to leave Durant, move out there for good."

Walt looked Jacob up and down before peering back out at the land before him. "And you wouldn't have anything to do with that, would you?" he said, his tone accusatory.

Jacob sighed and steeled himself for what he was about to say. "For reasons unknown, Cady loves me."

Walt interjected before Jacob could continue. "Do you think I'm stupid?" he accused. "You think I don't know that?"

That took him off guard. After all this time, it was the one thing Walt never failed to deliver.

"Well, I think you're a lot of things, Walt. Inflexible, generally unpleasant…" Jacob said dryly. There he went pushing his luck again, but some chances were too good to pass up. "But I know better than to think you're stupid. I didn't realize I was telling you anything you already knew." He was watching Walt's face for signs of murderous rage, but so far so good. Mostly.

"I know that she loves you. Known it since the day she took that job from you." Walt said this like it was unfathomable to him as to why. "I just assumed she'd get over it."

"I don't really get it either. But she does, and I love her back." Walt's eyes flashed unhappily to his, but he pushed on. "And I know it doesn't make sense, but I'm here to tell you that as long as she wants me, I'm going to be giving her anything she asks for."

"Who knew you were capable of such emotions," Walt replied bitterly. "If you came here looking for some sort of approval, don't get your hopes up."

"I don't expect your blessing… or anything of the like. But I think Cady would at least appreciate your tolerance of me."

"Tolerance?" Walt said incredulously. He chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. "You've got some nerve."

"Trust me, Walt, I know. It took me a while to have this conversation with you."

Walt's eyes narrowed and Jacob had the feeling that he made a grave mistake. "Exactly how long?"

"I'll let Cady fill you in on the rest. You're standing a little too close to that rifle for me to feel keen on any more honesty. I've told you everything I needed to tell you. The rest is up to you and your daughter."

Walt looked deep in thought. "Since you didn't come here and do something really stupid, like ask for her hand in marriage, I'll let you go this once. But you better not get any ideas, okay?"

"That's it?" Jacob asked. "You aren't going to hit me? Shoot me? Run me over with your Bronco?"

He shook his head with the ghost of a smirk on his lips. "If I thought Cady would forgive me, I would have done all three by now."

Jacob looked at him, it occurring to him that maybe this once he had underestimated Walt. Jacob knew then that Walt knew the same thing he knew. About Cady being truly deep-down better than both of them. "Okay, then."

Walt peered off into the mountains and put his hands on his hips. "But maybe you ought to leave before I change my mind."

"Yeah. I've got something I have to do, anyways."

* * *

It was late. Her flight landed at the Sheridan County Airport and she came straight home, save for stopping on the road for some food. She was home now, relaxing after all the travel.

Cady wiped the fog off her bathroom mirror, leaving a clear streak down the center. Her freshly showered wet hair clung to her cheeks and neck. The reflection took her aback as she realized she looked a little bit older somehow. Colder. Her heart didn't quite beat the way it used to.

Now, standing alone, Cady tried to will herself back to normal, whatever that was. It was wasted energy to think of kissing in soft moonlight, of Jacob holding her in the darkest hours of the night.

She put on an old t-shirt with her law school's name printed across the chest and a ratty pair of shorts. Walking to her backyard through the darkness, she allowed herself to stare up at the stars and moon longingly. It was one thing she loved about Wyoming. There was some of the clearest nighttime views in the world here. No light pollution to dull all the beauty from above. She'd miss this in San Diego.

Cady didn't have much lawn furniture, but she didn't really need it. Carrying a mug of hot tea with her, she plopped herself down on the swing on her back porch. It still needed to be stained. Maybe she would give the thing to her dad. Or Jacob. He could put it where they used to always sit on the steps and watch the sun go up and down. No… it was probably best not to see him again. She'd give it to her dad, she decided.

Her phone lit up and rang repeatedly. Jacob's name flashed on the screen, and she regarded it sadly. Tempted to pick it up, she talked herself out of it. _Don't pick up the phone_. _Don't pick up._

She decided she would email him first thing Monday morning to update him on her progress of passing the legal aid on and give him resumes for possible replacements. The phone rang out until it stopped.

Some music played from a small Bluetooth speaker. She was hoping it would take her mind off things. Two weeks was the sum of her remaining time in Wyoming, just enough to pass on the legal aid, list her house for sale, and pack up for good. She was worried about how Mandy would take the news. Mandy had slowly become Cady's best friend in Durant. The thought of leaving her behind saddened her.

Her insides jumped a bit as a car parked in front of her house. Jacob's, of course. He walked up her front lawn and up to the door, giving it a few knocks, and her hearted leaped into her throat.

She watched Jacob quietly for a few moments, seeing him give the door a few more knocks. As he did this Cady found herself trying to decide if she should announce herself or let him assume she wasn't home.

Her curiosity drew her out. "Jacob," she called finally. He didn't seem to hear her. She raised her voice a little. "Hey, Jacob. I'm out here."


	10. Chapter 10

Her curiosity drew her out. "Jacob," she called finally. He didn't seem to hear her. She raised her voice a little. "Hey, Jacob. I'm out here."

Footsteps around the house indicated that he finally heard her. "What are you doing back here?"

She held up her mug of tea as if that was perfectly explanatory. "And miss a night like this by staying on the couch?" She chuckled. She kept the interaction as lighthearted as possible. Friendship… maybe they could manage friendship in her remaining time in Durant _. Not likely_ , she thought, but she squashed that voice down as far as it would go. She paused the music and turned her attention to him. "And I think _I_ should be asking _you_ what you're doing here."

Jacob was standing before her in black pants and a tucked pink dress shirt that was unbuttoned at the top. His sleeves were rolled up, too, and she could see the muscles in his arms flex when he moved.

"You've been ignoring all my calls, so I didn't exactly have a choice."

She looked him up and down, realizing she couldn't think of anyone that resembled him. On the surface he was a businessman, and he probably saw himself in those terms, too. Yet there was so much more to him. Perhaps it was the dedication to his tribe that made him different, or perhaps it was his iron-willed power to mold the world to his standards. Either way, he seemed to take a hold of life more fully than others appeared to.

"Do you remember sitting together outside the first time you spent a night at my house?" Jacob asked her.

In the stillness she remembered the scene. "Of course."

"I thought about that today."

The soft blue light of the moon cast long shadows on his face, accentuating his clean-cut features.

"I guess I should feel special."

He took a few steps before responding. "That's how I always remember you. That night."

"Have I changed much?" Cady moved over, wordlessly offering him a seat. He took it.

"Not really. Not in the things I remember." The way Jacob said it made her wonder if he wanted to add something else. Cady looked back to the night sky, still watching him out of the corner of her eye. Certainty found its way onto his face as made an admission to her. "I love you, and that's never going to change."

Jacob, to his enduring credit, was adamant. She pressed her lips into a thin line. Jacob didn't usually talk like this. In fact, he almost _never_ talked like this. He wasn't one to show his feelings with his words – it was in the way he looked at her, the passion in his touches, the way he always brought her tea as she watched her sunrises. The little things said the 'I love you's for him. Cady wasn't used to hearing the actual words, which made what she was going to say that much harder to choke out.

"I thought you understood that I wouldn't wait forever, Jacob, wondering if you'll ever come around."

His eyes studied her as if she was a riddle. Jacob sighed. "I know that. Listen, Cady-"

She interrupted. "I don't want to make this any harder than it already-"

"I said listen." She closed her mouth and waited for him to continue. Their heartbeats fought each other, a mess of a rhythm.

"Before you, I had resigned myself to being alone. Preferred it even." He spoke steadily. "And then one day you were in my arms and I had no idea what to do with you. I wasn't ready then. But I know now… I'm ready. I'm done making you wait."

Her eyes were wide. "Jacob, are you…?" Cady said his name in a futile attempt to understand. She couldn't finish her sentence, afraid she was reading the signs wrong.

"I talked to your dad while you were gone. Even if you don't choose to be with me, I'm done making you hide."

Her jaw almost dropped. Almost. "You told my dad about us?"

"In part, yes. I revealed to him my intentions to be with you. If it isn't too late."

It was as though he'd opened her palm, given her the words, and closed it up again. Cady fell silent. Her throat was barren now. No words for miles. Perhaps it was the sudden bumpiness of love she felt for him. Grief found its way onto her face, and she absorbed his words.

"Too late? How could it not be too late? Your timing..." she trailed off. There was a long pause. "I'm supposed to leave. I'm finally getting out of here."

"You and I both know that's not what you want. It's a band-aid for not being able to have what you actually want. You'll go, you'll convince yourself that this is over for you. You'll even try to lead a normal life. But it's not going to work," he said. "Stay. Whatever you want from me, you'll have. Anything."

She searched his eyes. "Really?"

"I don't see a point in beating around the bush any longer," he said. "Even if you choose not to be with me, you'll be the last woman I ever love. It's a miracle that you broke me in the first place."

She put her hand over her mouth. Her own eyes, she was sure, reflected her sadness, anger, and confusion. In his eyes, she saw them imploring her to change her mind.

"How could you let me walk away in the first place?" she said. A tear spilled down her face like rain on a dusty pane, her eyes bloodshot from holding back. Jacob reached up and wiped it away, watching her eyes close for just a moment when his skin met hers.

"I'm not proud of everything I've done in my life, but my intentions have always been good. I thought I was protecting us."

A crease appeared between Jacob's eyes as he frowned. The blue shadows under his eyes were long.

"I have to make a – a decision. And I have to stick by it." Her breath stuttered as she tried to take a deep breath.

He rubbed his thumb across his lips. She was already gone, sticking by her decision to move away. He simply nodded. With a sigh, he stood up, knowing she was right before. There was no need to watch the bridges they were burning.

She stood with him and wrapped her arms around him. Gradually, his hands rose up and he pulled her into him, his final goodbye.

"I choose you. I choose being happy with you. I will always choose you."

He pulled back momentarily, Cady's words taking him off guard. The way he looked at her was like he was checking that he wasn't hearing things. Cady was smiling softly up at him, which must have been confirmation enough.

"Jesus, you really couldn't have led with that?" His voice was tall and husky, with the sound of a hidden smile in it.

Cady did not answer. She didn't have time, for Jacob was kissing her before she could utter a word.

Jacob didn't waste a moment. He rushed his urgent lips to hers, their soft lips embracing one another. In the darkness he shut his eyes and kissed Cady to make up for all the kisses they'd withheld, because it didn't matter anymore, and because he couldn't take another minute without it.

Cady lifted her arms, circling Jacob's neck and pulling him close. His kiss was slow and thorough, hinting at what was to come. Suddenly gravity had nothing on her. Right before her eyes her heart came back to life, beating out of her chest. He held her tightly and buried his face into her neck.

"What took you so long?" she asked.

"I'm not good at this," he said.

Late was better than never. His hands were on her hips, her name was on his lips.

"I missed you," she murmured as her lips trailed across the skin below his ear. She even managed a short, closed-eye pause of serenity.


	11. Chapter 11

Jacob and Cady laid in Cady's bed, holding each other under the sheets. Their bodies were welded together and only their feet changed position or pressure. Jacob made lazy circles on her skin with his fingertips as they had been lying there, in no rush to begin the day.

"Hey," Jacob said finally. He held her from behind, tightening his grip.

"Good morning," she said groggily. She turned into him and kissed his chest.

Jacob inhaled the smell of her hair as Cady rested her cheek on him. Her eyes were closing slowly as she considered drifting back to sleep.

"Let me take you to dinner tonight," Jacob said out of nowhere.

Cady's eyes opened fully again. She tilted her head back and peered up at him. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. I want you to know I'm serious. About all of it. It doesn't need to be anything fancy, we can just go to The Red Pony."

"You know how busy The Pony is on a Saturday night?"

He reached down and pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. "Yeah, I know."

She pulled back slightly. "Mm, I have a confession to make first."

Jacob raised an eyebrow curiously. "Is that so?"

"Henry knows about us already," she said, her eyes gauging his reaction. "I just thought you should know before we go waltzing into his bar."

He processed this. "How's that?"

"Do you remember when I got really drunk and left you a voicemail?"

"Yes," he said.

"Well, I don't remember, but Henry sure does. He promised he'd never say a word though. Not that it matters anymore." She watched his eyes, anticipating his response.

"Standing Bear… well I suppose it saves me a conversation, hopefully. Talking to your _dad_ about you was plenty interesting. Just wait till it's your turn."

Her eyes went wide in mock fear.

By the time they were ready to go, it was around seven in the evening. Cady wore jeans and a flannel top, and they drove back to Jacob's house so he could get a change of clothes. Most of the day they weren't wearing clothes, so it wasn't an issue. But now that they were going out, he needed a change.

She looked over at him with a smile on her lips. Jacob wore jeans and a navy-blue button down, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

Jacob noticed that she was looking at him. "What?" Jacob asked.

"I didn't say anything," she said with a chuckle.

"Yeah, alright," he said. They were in his car on the way to The Red Pony. Cady couldn't believe that they were headed out for their first time being together in public.

She looked back out the window and tapped her foot impatiently as Jacob changed the music. Jacob leaned closer, putting a hand on her thigh to keep it from bouncing. "You're fidgeting."

While she was looking forward to the date for a lot of reasons, it still felt strange. She looked down at the hand on her thigh and covered it with her own. Her fingers interlaced with his.

"Do you know what I'm looking forward to?"

Jacob smirked. "The date?"

"Besides that," she said.

"Then my second guess is going to be the greasy hamburger you're about to consume."

Cady laughed. "Yes. I'm starving to death."

Jacob just chuckled and rubbed his thumb along hers. They pulled into the parking lot and he removed his hand from hers.

"Wait right there." He walked around the car to her side and opened the door for her.

"What a gentleman."

The Red Pony was crowded and noisy.

"Table or bar?"

"There's a table," she said loudly, pointing to a table toward the back.

Jacob leaned closer to her. "You want a beer? Or something else?"

She nodded. "Beer is fine."

She watched Jacob saunter off to the bar, noticing women turning their heads as he passed. He hadn't noticed any of them, which made her smile. The door to the Pony opened and a big group passed in. Mandy was among them, as well as Mason and a couple other part-time workers at the legal aid center. They hung out outside of work sometimes.

Many caught her eye and walked over to her table. "Hey, girl. Enjoying your long weekend?"

"I am, actually," Cady said with a suppressed smirk.

Mandy grinned ear to ear. "I know that look. You got laid."

Cady rolled her eyes. "You don't have a tactful bone in your body, do you?"

"No, I must've been born without one of those. So, hey, are you sitting here alone, or what? You can come hang out with us, we were just going to do a little drinking and dancing."

"Oh, maybe next time. Actually I'm here with – well-"

Jacob returned with the beers. "Here you go," he said, and he handed one to Cady.

Mandy nearly laughed. "Jacob Nighthorse?" Her eyes flashed between them, not fully understanding his presence.

"Hi, Mandy." He casually slipped his arm around Cady's waist and took a swig of his beer. Jacob knew Mandy through Cady's many stories and a few brief interactions at her office, and he knew this was likely to pull a reaction.

Mandy's eyes widened and she looked at Cady in shock. Cady felt her face reddening as Mandy came to the realization of what the arm around her waist implied.

"Holy shit," Mandy said. "You guys are here, like, together?"

Disbelief was clear in her voice, and she could tell Jacob found it amusing. He took another sip of his beer, hoping to hide the smirk he was suppressing.

"Um, yeah. I was going to tell you Monday at work," she said. "But me and Jacob, we're together now."

Mandy punched Cady's arm good naturedly. "Bagging the boss, huh. Who knew you had it in you." Jacob snorted, nearly choking on his beer. "The guys from work are never going to believe this."

They watched as she walked back to the group. Cady just chuckled and took a sip from her beer. "Fair warning, she doesn't have a filter. I can't be responsible for what comes out of her mouth from here on out."

"Fantastic."

The news must have broken in the group because Mason was looking through the crowd of people for her. They met eyes and she could see he was astonished, his eyebrows knit together. _Him?_ he mouthed to her. She gave a single nod to confirm that yes, Mandy wasn't just screwing with him. He held her eyes for a second more before shaking his head and looking away. Cady couldn't help but wonder what that was about.

They sat back down at their table, Jacob taking the seat next to her rather than across from her. His arm rested behind her nonchalantly. They ordered burgers (best burgers in town) and ate companionably.

"Need another beer?" he asked.

She finished the last swallow in her bottle and eyed him. "Sounds like you're trying to get me drunk."

He leaned closer, his voice low. "Is that a challenge?"

"An observation," she countered.

His mouth was actually touching Cady's ear, causing her pulse to race. "We'll see about that when I get you home," he said, his breath tickling her ear.

Any retort Cady may have had died in her throat. She turned her head, remembering exactly what that mouth could do to her.

"Here comes Henry," she said breathlessly. That cleared her mind out of the gutter. Jacob scooted over and put a couple extra inches between but left his arm around her. She cleared her throat as he approached the booth. "Hi, Henry," she greeted.

Henry glanced at her but focused on Jacob. "I see you two are _together_ now." He held out his hand to Jacob who looked at it reluctantly. Standing and taking his hand, Jacob was met with a crushing handshake. He held in a grimace and kept his expression static, not wanting Standing Bear to see if it hurt, which it certainly did.

"Um, I'm going to go grab another round and let you two… catch up." Cady looked between the two men nervously, wondering if she had more to worry about from Henry than she did her dad.

She walked away, leaving the two men alone. "You know, you caused Cady a lot of grief through your indecision. I do not take anyone hurting her lightly."

Henry released Jacob's hand with a frigid glare. Jacob flexed his hand slightly and said, "Yes, well, it all worked out for the best didn't it?" he said, his voice rigid, his eyes hard.

"Maybe in your eyes. But the Jacob I have known usually has a motive for everything. What is your motive here?" Henry said through narrowed eyes.

"Although it might be hard for you to believe, there is no motive. She… crept up on me."

Henry just held up a hand. "Stop talking. Just know if you ever hurt my goddaughter, you will likely wind up missing and I will likely end up doing a life sentence."

Jacob held up his hands in a don't-shoot fashion and narrowed his eyes. "I've got no plans of the sort."

"Yes, I am sure, but forgive me if I find that difficult to believe," Henry said dryly.

Jacob chuckled. "You know, Standing Bear, you're actually being the tougher father figure over Walt."

He raised his eyebrows. "Walt knows about you and Cady? I was expecting to be able to play the good cop and let him take care of you."

"The fact that you think this is a good-cop routine is frankly laughable. And yes, I spoke to him. He wasn't happy, but threats weren't doled out. Being with Vic must be making him soft." Jacob could help but get a smug look on his face.

"Apparently the same can be said about Cady making _you_ soft, Nighthorse."

The smug smirk was wiped right off Jacob's face. "Hey, I'm _not_ soft. I just have… fewer rough edges."

"You keep telling yourself that."

Cady walked back to the pair with another round of beers in her hands, relief striking her that they seemed in good spirits.

"As much as I would love to stay and chat, I do have a bar to run. I will talk to you later, Cady." Henry wrapped an arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head before walking back to the bar.

She looked to Jacob. "How'd that go?" she asked nervously.

He took the beer she offered and took a swig. "He was tougher than your father was."

"Really?" She had expected her father to be the tougher one.

"I guess we always knew Standing Bear was the protective type."

In the background a new song started, eliciting claps from the crowd. Soon the dance floor was crowded. It must have been some popular love song. Jacob looked at her, his eyebrows raised. Yes, he wanted to dance with her, but did he dare?

"You hate dancing," Cady said. "Any time we've ever danced I've had to convince you."

"Yeah, I do. But come on anyway." He took her hand and they walked out to where everyone was dancing. Her heart pounding loudly, she moved into his arms as if it was something they'd done hundreds of times before. It was strange to be touching him so intimately, so publicly.

The dance, apparently, was just an excuse to be close. To touch. With both arms around Jacob's neck, she couldn't stop herself from threading her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Fair warning, but I'm going to kiss you," Jacob whispered into her ear. "Your buddy Mason hasn't taken his eyes off of us."

It should have been a simple kiss, but when their mouths met, they forgot all about the people around them. At least Cady did. Whether Jacob forgot as well, or was just marking his territory, Cady didn't know. But when his tongue brushed against her lower lip, Cady's mouth opened voluntarily, inviting him inside.

It was a huge mistake. A moan started in her throat, which she cut off by pulling away. The desire in Jacob's eyes was unmistakable. Against her better judgement, Cady leaned closer, her voice barely a whisper. "Don't tempt me," she warned.

"Soon," he whispered to her.

Knowing eyes had watched them, she felt embarrassed. It was a kiss between lovers, one that promised so much more to come. Cady bit her lip and looked into his eyes, trying to figure him out.

"Was that you being territorial, Jacob Nighthorse?" she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.

"After two years, I think I'm entitled."

"For someone so reluctant to let the world know about us, you sure do like kissing me in front of it."

"I didn't know how good it would feel," he said. Jacob's hand brushed the side of her face, holding it securely. "I made you wait too long," he said softly.

"I don't want to think about that anymore." She covered his hand with hers. "I just want this."

Their eyes held, and Jacob's chest tightened. Sometimes when Cady looked at him like that, it all made sense. It wasn't an affair. It wasn't a fling. There was nothing for him to fear, although he used to.

"What do you say we head home?" he said softly.

"I say that sounds perfect. Let's go to yours. I like your bed better. Not that I plan on us spending much time asleep…" she trailed off, walking toward to exit, his hand firmly in hers.


	12. Chapter 12

Cady walked into Jacob's living room, kicking her shoes off and plopping down on the couch. It had been a long day at work to say the least. She had fielded some phone calls from tribe members, a backlash to the openness of her relationship with her boss.

Mandy was exceedingly excited, still unable to get over the fact that Cady and Jacob were together. She asked for all the dirty little details, but Cady withheld, knowing Jacob was still a private man.

What she hadn't expected – in the slightest – was Mason's reaction. He avoided her all day, not so much as making eye contact.

At the end of the day, everyone trickled out slowly except for Mason. Cady didn't like being on poor terms with her coworkers – she loved them all – and wanted to fix it if it could be fixed.

He'd met her eyes for the first time that day as he stood in the doorway.

"So… you and Jacob, huh?" Mason asked slowly. He waited unblinking for her response.

She nodded. "Yeah. Me and Jacob."

He had crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side, his square jaw jutting out. "Not gonna lie, when you told me you and this mystery guy had broken up, I was kind of happy to hear that whatever had been keeping you occupied was over."

Her eyebrows raised in shock. "You – you wanted to be with me? You never let on."

"I was playing the long game," he chuckled. "When we were at the bar – well, I was finally going to ask you out. Before you left and didn't come back. I actually kind of waited for you."

She bit her cheek. Of course, Jacob was right. Cady had insisted Mason was just friendly, but in Jacob's words, she was oblivious to her own effect.

"I'm sorry," she said.

He'd stepped forward and wrapped an arm around her. "As long as you're happy I'll get over myself. You're happy?"

"Yeah. He makes me happy," she'd said quietly.

Cady decided she was going to keep this story to herself. She didn't really need to hear the I-told-you-so spiel from Jacob.

Jacob's day had been longer apparently, because he was still not home, leaving Cady to decide what to do with her time. She opted to start dinner so he could at least come home to a home-cooked meal if his day sucked as much as hers.

She was in the middle of pulling the food off the stove when Jacob came home from work.

"Well hello there. How was your day?" Cady asked.

"You don't want to know," Jacob replied shortly. His hand was clasped around the knot of his tie, tugging it down to loosen it from his neck.

"That good, huh," she said. "Mine too."

He set his briefcase on the counter and walked to where she was. His lips met her cheek softly. "Thank you for dinner, my love."

He kissed her softly on the lips and carried their plates of food out to the table for them, meanwhile Cady had a small smile on her face. Ever since they reunited, Jacob had been much more affectionate and expressive then the previous two years combined.

He ate his food silently, chewing his food slowly. Cady could tell he was bothered by something.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"You're making a face."

"I'm not making a face," he growled. He took a deep breath. "Today at work… the tribal council told me they'll be investigating me as well as the legal aid center for potential abuse of tribal funds. Now that they've caught wind of our relationship."

She nearly choked on her food. "What? Why?"

"To be sure there weren't any… financial misdeeds on our part."

"Financial misdeeds? So they think we've stolen money. Great."

"A little quid pro quo, most likely." He set his fork down sharply and Cady felt a pang of guilt. This was exactly a scenario that Jacob wanted to avoid.

"You mean that you weren't paying me extra money for sex this whole time?" She feigned shock.

"No, they're going to find out that I get this all for free." He squeezed her knee and stood up to grab a beer from the fridge. He stood there leaning his hip against the table, shaking his head with annoyance at the situation as he took a sip.

"Lucky you," she said, hoping to lighten the mood. Jacob was zoned out distractedly, though. "I'm sorry," she said softly. Cady stood up and wrapped her arms around him from behind, resting her cheek against his back. His muscles relaxed a little at her contact and his free hand covered hers resting on his stomach. His hand was large enough to cover both of hers.

"Don't be. We haven't done anything wrong. The investigation will be fruitless, and then we can put this behind us."

She kissed the back of his neck. He took this opportunity to turn around inside her arms and face her. setting the beer down on the table behind them, he took her face in his hands. "I love you." He pressed his lips softly against hers, feeling her melt into him.

"I love you," she whispered back.

Jacob cracked a smirk. "What?" Cady asked.

"I find it entertaining that even after two and a half years, I can still make you weak in the knees."

Jacob pulled up to Cady's house, parking on the street and locking his car. He and Cady spent nearly every night together, either here or at his house, but mostly at his. It was much nicer than her house and closer to both of their places of work. In fact, the only reason they came here was the nights when Cady needed to laundry, get her mail, and get fresh clothes.

When the door opened, he found himself being pulled inside and pinned against the door, Cady's hands tugging his shirt from his pants.

"What took you so long?" Cady murmured against his lips.

"Stopped to get gas," he said, his hand sneaking inside Cady's robe, finding her completely naked. He groaned in anticipation as their kisses turned fiery hot. They pulled apart long enough for Cady to finish the buttons on his shirt and push it down his shoulders, then Jacob's mouth was there again, letting Cady know who was in control. He pressed her against the wall and untied her robe with one hand.

Jacob had Cady's hands clasped to her sides as he ducked his head, his hot mouth closing over one of her nipples, his tongue teasing it as Cady leaned her head back, her breath coming in quick bursts. She knew not to protest. Jacob would take his sweet time, making her squirm, making her want to beg to finish. And sometimes she couldn't wait that long and she would pull Jacob's thigh between her legs, the contact nearly driving her over the edge.

Jacob's mouth moved back to her lips, kissing her slowly now, drawing it out. He pulled away from her, and Cady rested against the wall, her chest rising and falling as she drew deep breaths. Cady's robe hung open, and Jacob took in her nakedness, the robe covering just enough of her to leave him wanting more. He brought his gaze back to Cady's face, meeting her eyes, seeing desire, and God, so much more. Sometimes that scared him – the look in Cady's eyes. And sometimes it made the walls around his heart relent, like it was doing now.

He reached for Cady, pulling her close again. The robe opened and their bare chests touched as their mouths found each other once more. Jacob's tongue drew hers inside, and she moaned as his hands seemed to be everywhere at once. They both paused mid-kiss when Cady's phone rang out.

"God, if that's my dad, I'm going to kill him," Cady said as she finished the kiss.

"You know most people just set ringtones, don't you?" Jacob countered as he pulled Cady closer, only to feel her move away. He opened his eyes fully. "You're going to _answer_ it? _Now_?"

Cady pointed at him. "Don't move."

Jacob leaned against the door, still breathing hard. "She's trying to kill me," he murmured. He glanced down his naked torso, finding his pants were unbuttoned and the zipper half-way down. When did she do that? He wasn't listening to her conversation although by her demeanor, he knew it wasn't her father.

She turned to Jacob and mouthed "Mandy."

"This can't be good," he muttered to himself. He glanced back to Cady, now listening to her one-sided conversation. She was nodding, and then he heard the words he dreaded.

"Okay, I'll be right there." Cady tossed her phone down, walking slowly toward her, her robe still open. "That was Mandy. She's got a flat tire, she needs me to come pick her up on the rez."

"And she doesn't know to change the spare?" he said incredulously.

"Apparently, she's been driving on the spare for two weeks now. I'm surprised it lasted this long," she said. "Sorry, hon, we're going to have to take a raincheck."

Jacob groaned. "Her timing sucks."

Cady grinned. "Got you in a heated state, do I?" She pecked him on the cheek and tied her robe again.

Jacob's mouth was on hers again, his hands untying her robe.

"Where do you think you're going? She can wait a little longer." The sound of Cady's laughter filled the house as Jacob picked her up and began walking to the bedroom. "I'll make this quick."

"Thanks for coming to get me. I didn't realize I was interrupting anything important." Mandy straightened a piece of Cady's hair. "No wonder it took you so long to get here. You'd think he'd at least make sure you weren't walking out of the house with sex hair."

Cady slapped Mandy's hand away and ran her fingers through her hair to straighten it.


	13. Chapter 13

Walking into Cady's office, Jacob saw her desk was empty. In the spare room was Mandy. Checking that last, she looked up from her papers in surprise.

The spare room that used to have an old twin bed now housed two desks and filing cabinets. He got a small kick out of remembering the things he did with – and to – Cady in that bed.

"Where's Cady?" Jacob asked.

"Court, today," Mandy said. Her desk was cluttered with files and empty cans of coke.

Jacob gave a nod of acknowledgement.

"Gotcha. You want a burger from the Red Pony?" There was no reason the one he bought for Cady should be wasted.

"Of course I want a burger from the Red Pony," she said, holding her hand out. This was why Jacob liked Mandy. No beating around the bush. No bullshit.

Back in the lobby area as he was walking back to his car, Mason gave him a fake smile. "Feel free to be on your way. There are no cradles here to rob, the college interns only come on Thursdays."

Jacob stopped in his tracks and turned back. "Excuse me?" he asked incredulously.

Mason just looked back at him, a silent glare.

Annoyance swept over him. "If there's anything you'd like to say, man, by all means go ahead." Jacob said. He looked around the office dramatically, gesturing with his hand at the emptiness. "Cady's not here. Now is as good a time as any."

Mason glared at him, deciding whether or not he wanted to get into this right now. His pride won out, though. "I just think Cady deserves better than the likes of you."

Jacob's eyebrows were knit together as he stared at Mason. "Is that so?" he asked with sarcastic curiosity. "Like you?"

"Maybe." Mason stood there with his arms crossed and his chin raised proudly. He looked cocky. Cocky was a dangerous thing to be.

"You should learn not to talk about things you know nothing of," Jacob warned. His stare was cold enough to kill.

"I live in a dirty enough part of the rez to hear about what goes on at the casino. The girls, the drugs. And we all know the stories about you. Especially the ones Cady told me while you weren't together. Trust me, I know you're slimy. Cady is too good for you, and she knows it too. According to her, you guys were badly matched to begin with. You should probably listen to her on that one."

Jacob's dark eyes gripped Mason's as he took a menacing step forward. Mason didn't move back.

"I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Not everyone gets the same version of me. One person might tell you I'm a saint, another will say I'm a cold-hearted son of a bitch." He felt his darker side coursing through him, the dark side he wasn't afraid of, but very much in touch with. It was boiling beneath the surface as his hands hung tensely at his sides and his lips curled into a thin line as he controlled himself. Jacob took one more step and now he was toe to toe with Mason, looking him straight in the eye with all the controlled malice he could muster. "Believe them both. I act accordingly."

Mason's eyes were narrowed. "Is that supposed to be a threat?"

"I think you know the fastest way to find out." Jacob said this unblinking, enjoying the uneasiness in Mason's eyes. His voice was low and measured, as he had mastered his anger a long time ago.

Mason held his gaze as resentment swirled inside him like a vortex. He shook his head. "You really are as slimy as people think, man."

"I'm a little selfish when it comes to the things that are mine, so let me paint you a very clear picture. Cady isn't interested, available, or remotely in your league. She wants attention from a grown up."

He pressed two fingers into the chest of Mason, as if to show that Mason was exactly the foil to himself.

"To be held like a woman. I know at your… _inexperienced_ age, you probably don't have a very firm grasp on this, so feel free to imagine that anywhere you like. In the kitchen, the spare room. Oh, and on your desk. That was a fun night," Jacob recalled.

He wasn't looking at Mason anymore, but glancing around the room with a smug look, as though he was reminiscing. His eyes met Mason's again, and he gave him a cold, self-satisfied smirk, knowing he'd won. Jacob said finally, "Kiss my ass, you chickenshit son of a bitch. Have a good one."

* * *

Cady's phone buzzed in her pocket. She was eating lunch during a recess from court and Mandy's name flashed on the screen, alerting her to a text message.

 _Mandy:_

 _The boys just got into a pissing match at the office._

Her eyebrows raised. Cady didn't like the sound of this.

 _Cady:_

 _The boys?_

Her phone buzzed again.

 _Mandy:_

 _Nighthorse and Mason._

Cady groaned. She wasn't even sure what Jacob would be doing at the office while she wasn't there.

 _Cady:_

 _Oh god. How in the world did that happen?_

She tapped her fingers impatiently while waiting for an answer.

 _Mandy:_

 _You know as much as I do. Sounded like Nighthorse threatened him though. And said something about you two fucking on Mason's desk. It was kind of funny until it put Mason in a pissy mood. Men._

Great. Jacob was doling out threats to her employees. Just what she wanted to hear today. It wasn't until the afternoon that she made it back to the office. Mandy had already left for the day and Mason was packing up his files. His head snapped up at the sound of her heels clicking against the floor.

"I heard you had an interesting day," Cady said, an edge of nervousness to her voice.

"Interesting, yeah." Mason nodded, tucking his hair behind his ear. "Mandy told you?"

"Yeah."

Mason set the papers he was holding on the desk and turned his attention to her. "I'm just going to come right out and say that I don't like Nighthorse. He's sketchy. It was different when I was backing off because I thought you were happy with a semi-normal guy. But I'm serious, I don't trust that guy. You shouldn't be with someone like that."

Cady sighed and sat down at the desk adjacent from his. "He really isn't that bad. He's just… protective of what's his."

"You're not his though. It's not supposed to be that way. You're your own person."

"Yes, I am. That's not what I meant."

Cady understood why he was concerned. Jacob was well known on the rez, and not always for the best reasons. Although the craziness surrounding the casino died after Malachi was gone, stories about Jacob still circulated around that time. The one about him and 40 other Indians showing up at her dad's doorstep with rifles and trucks was particularly popular.

"I mean, hell, Jacob and my dad have both pointed guns in each other's faces and saved each other's lives. Jacob is a complicated person... He's had a lot taken from him in his life, so he built himself up so high that no one could reach him to take anything else again. Has he done extreme things to get there? Yeah. Probably not always legal." She paused, trying to find the right words. "But he's fought really hard in every way possible for everything he has. How can I not admire that?"

Mason looked down, not answering her question.

Cady needed him to know, though. "You have to understand, that's how hard he loves me. So if you're asking me if I trust him, then yeah. With my life. Because that's also how hard I love him, too."

He just sighed and studied her like she was a riddle. After a long pause, he said, "That much, huh?"

"Yes, that much."

"Must be nice. To be loved by someone that much."

"You'll find someone who will. I'd hate to encourage an office romance, but since I don't have a leg to stand on, I always thought you and Mandy would be really good together."

Mason nodded absent mindedly as he pulled his jacket on, watching Cady as he did so.

* * *

Jacob and Cady sat in the kitchen quietly, spooning food onto their plates and eating wordlessly.

Cady set down her fork to break the silence. "So, are we going to talk about today?"

Jacob looked down, pausing for so long Cady nearly wondered if he hadn't heard her question. He chewed his food silently for a moment, swallowing a setting his fork down as well. Finally, he said, "Apparently."

Cady didn't answer right away either, and he glanced up to check her expression. She bit her cheek. "You threatened Mason at the office today?"

"I never made a threat. Though I'm sure that's how your buddy Mason would tell it. He seems to think he's your other half," Jacob said dryly.

"He isn't the only one in that office, I actually had the joy of hearing about this from other employees. And yeah, I can handle the puppy dog feelings he has. What I can't handle is you telling him intimate details about our sex life. You might as well have announced it to the whole office that we slept together in there."

"There's a primal need for a man to protect what is his. And that's all I did. My initial impulse was justified and I'm not sorry."

"I don't want you to be sorry," she said softly. "I just don't want you two to end up in a brawl over something so stupid. Mathias won't be above marching both your asses off to jail for the night. And for the record, we never did it on his desk," she said indignantly.

"Yeah we did. On New Year's."

"Seriously?"

He just nodded. Cady searched her hazy memory and realized he was right. "Shit. Yeah." She sighed. "But that doesn't mean you should have told him."

"That's rich." There was a bitter twist to his features.

"Rich?" Cady said incredulously.

"You told him about us, too. But since we're _badly matched_ anyways, I guess I'll let it slide," he said sarcastically. He looked to Cady, his eyes falling frustrated. "Do you seriously think that?

Cady paused for a moment. Did she really think that? She had to consider it for a moment.

"Yeah, I mean, it sounds bad. But we are, don't you think?" she asked sincerely.

Jacob clenched his jaw visibly. He pushed his chair out, clearly getting ready to leave the room and end this conversation.

"But isn't that kind of the point?" she asked him. Jacob paused, remaining seated. He simply listened. "On paper, we're badly matched, don't make any sense even. But in reality, we don't function without each other. I would take this over my perfect match any day. Over anyone who makes any sense remotely. This… this makes me whole."

He let out a long breath and extended a hand. "Come here."

She stood and walked over to where he was holding his hand out. His hand took her waist and pulled her into his lap. He wrapped his arm around her and put his forehead against her chest.

"New Year's," he said again quietly, thinking. "That was right around when we started all this."

"Yeah, it was," she said against his hair. That night they were both at the casino for the New Year's Eve party to wait for midnight. It was a bad idea for her to go, but she went anyways. She'd been drawn there like a magnet. "We didn't talk once. But I knew when I looked at you from across the room we'd end up back at the legal aid center. I remember wanting to go up to your office right then. Cursing everyone around us."

"I know. Me too."

One thing Cady knew, truly knew in the pit of her stomach, in the center of her bones, was that Jacob was like a drug for her, and she was addicted. Jacob was a gift from the gods, perfect copper skin, glistening black hair. His breath was warm against her chest.

As his arms tightened around her, he didn't have to say it aloud for Cady to know he was agreeing to play nice. Cady was _his_. For whatever it was worth.


	14. Chapter 14

Sitting at her desk in her office, Cady was shuffling through some paperwork. A knock on her door caused her to look up. Jacob was standing in her doorway, leaning against the doorframe with his eyes trained on her. He stepped off and slowly began closing the blinds and shutting the door.

Cady raised a brow in confusion over the blinds – was it too bright in her office? - and she opened her mouth to greet him, but Jacob was already done with the blinds, taking her in his arms, and she was being smothered in his kisses. She was taken by surprise but met his kisses with a matched enthusiasm.

Jacob stepped forward, pushing her lightly to the desk. He grabbed the back of her thighs, lifting her up momentarily and ignoring the yelp of surprise that left her lips. Setting her down on the desk, he settled between her legs. His lips moved to her neck, making soft kisses on her sensitive skin.

Her eyes nearly rolled to the back of her head. "Hello to you too."

Jacob only replied by taking her face in his hands and covering her lips with his. Their kiss was slow and unhurried, lips moving with familiarity against one another. Cady moaned quietly when she felt the tip of Jacob's tongue trace her lower lip. Her hands slid up his chest, lightly brushing his jaw before slipping them around his neck.

She pulled back, noticing a change in her own breathing. "We should stop before someone sees us," she said unconvincingly.

He kissed her lips again softly despite her protest, his hands holding her thighs. "I've wanted to do this all day."

Jacob met her gaze, and a smirk playing at Cady's lips. "Well, you're just going to have to wait till we get home. People may know about us but that doesn't mean it's professional," she said.

He kissed her neck again. "Not sure if I can do that," he moaned against her sensitive skin as he ran his fingers up her thighs, rotating in until they met…

"Whoa!" she jumped slightly and pulled his hands from between her legs. "Someone is in a peachy mood today."

"I am. Because the investigation is over."

She paused in surprise. "It's over?"

"Yep." He kissed her cheek, then the corner of her mouth, then full on the lips. "Cleared of all wrongdoing. We're finally done with it all."

She wrapped her arms around him tightly. "Oh my god, Jacob. That's so good to hear."

"Make yourself busy till seven tonight, then come over." He stood up straight and fixed his jacket, still in between her legs.

"Seven o'clock, huh?"

He ran his fingers through his hair to make sure nothing was sticking out in odd directions from their heated moment. "See you then."

He walked off toward her office door, but then paused as if he was forgetting something, and came back to give her a peck on the cheek. She smiled at him warmly as she watched him leave the office, shutting the door behind him.

Cady walked through Jacob's house only to find it empty. As she walked through, she heard soft music that led her to the back porch. She opened the back door and the music grew louder, letting her know she was getting close to the source.

Outside by the pool was a small table with a white tablecloth draped elegantly over it. There were candles at the center and a rose over the place setting she assumed was meant for her, along with a bottle of champagne that, knowing Jacob, was probably expensive. Jacob was standing with his back to her at the grill he kept out there. Her chest seemed to relax as soon as she saw him, making it easier to breathe.

"Smells amazing," Cady said.

He flipped whatever he had on the grill and closed its cover. "You're here. I didn't hear you pull up."

"I sure am. What's all this?"

He turned to walk over to her but stopped in his tracks. Cady had on a short black sundress. Jacob looked her up and down, taking her in. "You look… beyond beautiful," he said.

She smiled and closed the gap between them. She ran her hand over the shoulder of his suit. "You too. You're wearing your best suit."

He kissed her lightly and she swooned a little. This… this was what she missed the most while they were apart. The kisses that were soft like summer rain.

"Take a seat. The food is done."

In front of her, Jacob placed a delicious-looking grilled steak with potatoes and a light salad. He popped open the bottle of champagne and poured them two foamy glasses.

"Wow. This looks amazing," Cady said. The sun was beginning to set. Bright streaks of orange and pink were appearing across the sky. Cady felt warm as she looked off to the horizon. "There… now I can say I've seen at least one beautiful thing today."

Jacob was quiet so she looked back at him to see that his eyes were locked on her, admiring her.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just… when that sun hits your hair. It's a sight."

They ate in comfortable company. He set his utensils down and peered at her, studying her as if she was a riddle.

"There's something I wanted to ask you."

She raised an eyebrow curiously. "Okay," she said.

He stood up and held his hand out for her to take. Without a spoken word she stood, her fingers linking with Jacob's, letting him lead her a few steps away. He walked confidently to the edge of the patio, pausing to look at her. Cady's chest tightened at the look in Jacob's eyes.

"Seems like a waste to have two places when we're always at one or the other together anyways. I want you to move in with me."

He stopped walking and looked her, patiently waiting for her response, their hands still entwined.

Her lips parted slightly, momentarily surprised. Finding her voice, she said, "Of course I'll move in with you." She kissed him softly, her free hand behind his neck. "I'll call my realtor and tell her to list the house."

She was hit with a familiar sight. Jacob was looking down at her confidently.

"Good. Because I was thinking, if you'll be moving in," he released her hand as he dropped down on one knee, reaching into his jacket and pulling out a small velvet box. Jacob opened the little box to reveal a dazzling ring. "Then you might as well be my wife too."

She felt nearly dizzy at his words Jacob said to her. The look in his eyes had an intensity that sent Cady's heart leaping into her throat.

"Oh my god," Cady muttered, the words slipping from her mouth.

He had to suppress a smirk at the look of complete shock on her face.

"You want to _marry_ me?" she asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. That's why I bought an engagement ring and not a friendship bracelet."

Cady held back the urge to roll her eyes, her lips forming a grin at his comment.

He looked up at her from his place on his knee, his expression serious again. "When I met you, I knew I'd met my match. It was only a matter of time until we arrived at this moment. How it turns out is all in your hands. What do you say?"

Her eyes burned and her throat was tight. They were burning with happiness. "Yes," she said, her voice cracking. She held her left hand out to him.

He pulled the ring from its velvet cushion and slid it onto her ring finger. Standing up, he wrapped her tightly in his arms and let his mouth find hers. Such a simple touch, yet her pulse sprang to life. Would Jacob's touch always do this to her? Those hands moved higher, up to her jaw, as he kissed her languidly, savoring the simple softness of her lips. When the kiss ended, he saw a hint of tears in Cady's eyes. He didn't question it.

"Remember that thing you were waiting all day for?" she said lightly, picturing him settled between her legs and kissing her throat back at the office earlier in the day.

"Yeah," he muttered.

"I need that right now," she whispered.

"Yeah, me too."


	15. Chapter 15

Sitting in bed with her back up against the headboard, a book in her lap, Cady tried to do a little reading before bed. It wasn't working, though, her focus was completely off. She was fiddling with her ring, twisting it around and around her finger absent mindedly. The stone was huge, smooth against the pad of her thumb with two smaller diamonds on either side of it.

Jacob emerged from the bathroom in his boxer briefs and watched her. "You know, if you look away for a minute, it's not going to disappear," Jacob said.

"I can't help it. The newness hasn't worn off yet. I'm your fiancée," she said. She ran her finger along the band and over the stones again. "We're going to be married," she said softly.

"Speaking of which, we should probably talk details there. When, where, with who…"

Cady nodded. "Yeah, we should. Have you given it much thought?"

Jacob got under the covers and rested against the headboard. "I have. I plan on giving you every single thing you want."

She thought about it for a moment. "I don't want it to be big. I want it to be private, only us. Somewhere outside."

"Then that's what you'll have." He pressed his lips to her hand. Jacob was relieved she wanted privacy. He wouldn't have it any other way. If there was anything he hated, it was other people in his business. "There are a couple Cheyenne traditions we could incorporate. And we could have someone from the tribe officiate."

"That sounds nice. That sounds really nice." She smiled. "A small wedding, and a little trip after. Somewhere sunny."

"We can make that happen. But the soonest I can take time off work is in about a month."

"Me too, I'll need to schedule my court dates outside of the dates of the trip."

Jacob pulled his phone off the nightstand and brought up the calendar. "How about… the 18th of next month? We can do it then and leave the next day."

"That could work. It's a date."

"It's a date," he repeated. She reached out now, snaking an arm around Jacob's waist, needing the closeness.

"I guess tomorrow I better go tell my dad. Dating is one thing, I don't know how he's going to react to this."

"We'll both go. I won't let you do that alone."

She paused. "I think I _should_ go alone."

Cady felt his body stiffen against hers.

"I'm not afraid of Walt. I won't be a coward."

"It's not that," she said, squeezing his hand. "It'll be better for him. Easier news to take, if it's just me. You tend to make him a little… irrational. Our chances of keeping him on an even keel are best if I'm alone."

He sighed. "I don't like it."

"I know," she said.

"But I promised to give you what you want, so if you want to tell your dad in private… okay."

"Another thing…" Cady said.

"Yes?"

"What did the rest of that voicemail say? The one from a couple months back, when I was drunk."

"It wasn't much longer than what you heard."

Cady looked him down till he got the message. She wanted to know. He sighed and continued.

"You said, even though you left, one day I'd have to face the truth. That everyone needs someone, even a broken down old man like me."

She cringed. "Oh, Jesus."

"And then you said, 'Have fun finding someone to put up with you this way. I heard Labrador Retrievers are pretty loyal.' And then there was a little plunk and the message cut off."

She covered her face with her hands, pure humiliation coursing through her. Apparently, her drunken self didn't pull any punches. "I dropped my phone in the toilet," she mumbled.

"I can't hear you when you cover your face." He chuckled and pulled her hands down.

"I said, I dropped my phone in the toilet."

He tried to hold back a smirk. "That explains that, then."

"God, I said that?" she asked incredulously. She was completely mortified.

"Yep."

"I thought it was going to be romantic and sappy and I'd feel better about it, but god, that is so much worse."

"It's fine, seriously. You were right. Although I could have done without the "broken down" and "old" parts. But that's why I love you. You're a spitfire, but you're my spitfire." Jacob kissed her lightly on the lips.

Cady rolled over and straddled his hips. "I'm glad you feel that way." There was a spark in her eyes as his hips rose up to meet hers. She held his chin where his goatee was. "Because you're right, I'm a spitfire," she whispered into his ear.

Her mouth was on his again, this time a little harder and she felt her heart flutter. He kissed her back, opening his mouth, hearing her moaning quietly as the tip of his tongue met hers. Jacob's hips rose up against hers again, her breathing labored now as their kisses turned heated.

Her eyes slipped closed as Jacob left her mouth and found her breast instead. His hands moved at will across Cady's bare back, then lower, cupping her from behind and pulling her hard against him. She let out a breath as his hand moved between them, and no words were spoken as she parted her legs.

Cady pulled her Jeep into her dad's driveway, and she was preparing herself for the tough conversation ahead. Walt was expecting her, the benefit of him having a cell phone finally. She had Vic to thank for that.

Walt was on his porch with Vic, sitting on the bench in his typical jeans and denim shirt, _Of Mice and Men_ in his hands. That was a way Cady and her dad were the same – both readers.

"Hi, Dad," Cady said. "Vic."

"Hey, Punk." Walt closed his book once he marked his page and set it aside. "You said you wanted to talk?"

She nodded and tucked her hair behind her ear nervously. "Yeah, I do." She sat down on a wooden chair, knowing by looking at it that it was something her dad had made himself.

Vic looked between them. "Do you guys want to have a father-daughter moment, or-"

"No, you can stay. It's good news, actually," Cady said.

Walt raised an eyebrow as though he was waiting to actually hear the news before he decided if it was good or not. "Alright," he said skeptically. "What's the good news?"

"Um, Jacob and I are engaged. We're getting married next month."

Walt processed this in genuinely stunned silence. "Wh-" he stuttered. "You can't – you're be serious?" You've been together, what, two months?"

She grimaced. Jacob told her dad he was going to pursue her but left out the gritty details to keep Walt from becoming homicidal. Now was as good a time as any to break the truth, she supposed. "Two and a half years, actually."

"Wow," Vic uttered. "Wait, so that time at the casino-?"

"Um, kind of," she said nervously.

"What time at the casino?" No one answered him and he let out an exaggerated breath. "Two and a half… Jesus, Cady… think this through. What about when you want kids, huh? He's not exactly the fatherly type."

Cady just shook her head. "I don't want kids, Dad. I'm 38. It can't really be that big of a shock that I don't plan on having them if I haven't by now."

Walt seemed seriously taken aback. "Why?"

Cady paused, trying to find the best way to say this. "'If I ever had a daughter and something happened to me… I can't bear the thought of leaving her all alone. Of her going through what I went through with Mom." She looked down at her hands, where the ring was on her finger. She met her dad's eyes again, with more confidence in what she was saying. "Not every woman has an aching hole in their heart that can only be filled by a baby. I like my life, and I like it with Jacob. I'm happy."

Neither she or Jacob had ever wanted kids. Jacob had promised himself from the time he was fifteen that he'd never be a father. He was only seven years old himself when a white man took him from his home. Jacob told himself he'd never let a white man take a piece of him again. There was no guarantee Jacob could protect his own children from the white man's laws, so he held true to his promise. Never marrying, never becoming a parent. He closed himself off to anything but his goals for decades.

Cady and Jacob had only spoken about his childhood on a few brief occasions. Each time they did, Cady's eyes would fill with tears. Tears for him, tears for his childhood, but tears nonetheless. And that was one thing he never wanted to see in her eyes.

Walt stayed silent. He looked over to Vic.

Vic shrugged. "I don't see the problem. For what it's worth, Walt, my dad still hates you. But he's wrong. Nobody but you and me could know if this was right. And only Cady can know for herself."

He sighed and adjusted the hat on his head. "Punk, you make it hard on me." His eyes looked down to her hand where the ring was on her finger. "Alright. Alright, I guess you can make your own choices. Just… I just hope you're sure."

"I am."

Cady could see something close to a cringe forming on her dad's face.

"So, you're going to be, what, Cady _Nighthorse_ , now?" Walt said with an edge of disgust in his voice.

This question took her off guard. She hadn't even considered it yet. How could they have forgotten to discuss that important detail?

"I don't know, Dad. I haven't decided."

"Well, I guess the only thing left to say is, congrats," Vic said nonchalantly. Cady was glad Vic was here to mellow out the mood.

"Thanks, Vic."

Cady bid them farewell, wanting to keep the visit short and sweet. Pulling out her phone, she gave Jacob a call. It rang a couple times before he picked up.

"Hey."

"The deed is done," she said dramatically.

"And? Do I need to go into hiding?" Jacob asked dryly.

Cady chuckled. "No, he took it surprisingly well. We probably have Vic to credit for that."

"Hm. Color me shocked."

"I'm headed towards the Red Pony now. Got to tell Henry, then I'm headed to my house to do some packing. I need to sort what I'm bringing and what I'm throwing away and donating."

"Okay. I'll head there now and start putting a couple boxes together," he told her. There was a pause on the line. "While you're there, maybe you should ask Henry if he'd like to officiate the ceremony. He knows the traditions and is obviously close to you. Might be a good option."

She grinned to herself. "That would be… yes, I'll ask."


	16. Chapter 16

Here we are, at the end. It's been a pleasure writing another story. My apologies for this last chapter taking too long to put out! I really wanted to include a wedding scene in this fic but terrible depression hit me like a truck and I knew this chapter was meant to have a happy tone.

Shout out to bluesybreeze for commenting on every single chapter. It gave me such motivation to try to deliver the best content I'm capable of, and I probably would have quit writing by now if it weren't for her constant support and encouragement. Love ya bluesy.

I'm starting a multi-chapter sequel to Atonement soon, so if you haven't read that, go ahead and read it and drop a review while you're there. Thanks for the read, I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

Today was the day.

Cady was never really sure she would get married. Had she ruled it out? No, of course not. But the closer she neared to forty, the less likely she had begun to see it. She focused on her career, then her mom's illness, then putting the pieces of her father back together. It had been a long time since she had the time for herself at all, let alone to entertain the idea of a marriage.

Today, she was getting ready for just that, though. Standing in front of a floor length mirror in Henry's apartment, she took herself in. The skin on her cheeks was flushed and brought out the redness of her hair all the more.

Henry walked up behind her, putting his hand on her shoulder and meeting her eyes in the reflection. There was a soft smile on his lips. It sent her to a place of comfort.

"You look lovely, Cady."

She placed her hand over Henry's on her shoulder. "Thanks, Henry," she said. Smiling back at him

Henry hesitated before saying, "As your godfather, I feel compelled to make sure… are you certain this is what you want?"

Cady wasn't offended by his question. The way he asked was different than the way her dad would have. Henry wasn't questioning her choice – only letting her know if she wanted to change her mind, he would be there for her. But backing out, choosing not to marry Jacob, was no choice at all. Cady knew she would choose Jacob every moment of every day given the opportunity.

"I love him," she answered earnestly.

He looked down at her proudly. Her simple knee-length dress had her looking like a dream. It wasn't often she wore a dress, adding to the effect.

"Okay," Henry said. "Then let us go. We do not want to be late."

Cady smiled at his easy acceptance of her response. He trusted her to know what was best, and it filled her heart up. When Cady had asked him to officiate the wedding, he seemed genuinely stunned. Nearly speechless. How would Jacob feel about that? How would _Walt_ feel about that?

Hearing that it was Jacob's idea created a look of surprise that dwarfed his initial response. _Is it April First?_ he'd asked.

 _Henry, it's August. And for the record, I don't think my dad wants any wedding details anyway._ Taking it all in, he'd said of course he would and merely asked what she had in mind for the ceremony.

"No, we don't want to be late," she agreed quietly.

A fluttering sensation overtook her belly. This was it. All she had to do was drive out to the trail where Jacob would be waiting atop a cliff overlooking wild Wyoming and get married.

Married. The word still sounded so strange even in her imagination. Jacob would be her husband. She would be his wife. Who would have ever thought? Tugging at the bottom of her dress, silently hoping it wasn't overly windy outside, she grabbed the ring she would place on Jacob's finger and gripped it tightly.

"Let's go."

The walk up to the cliff was a long one, made longer by the anticipation brewing in her gut. There were only minutes between her and the moment her wedding began. Cady and Henry walked side by side up the winding trail on the mountain, cursing the shoes she had chosen, until she saw Jacob standing there alone. The light breeze was causing his hair to waver in the wind. He was wearing a white button down that contrasted his perfect copper skin and black slacks. He hadn't heard Henry and Cady approaching yet. Her heart was beating out of her chest as she watched him stand there, stoically looking over the valley. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, his body facing away. Next to his was a waist-high tree stump with a glass bowl of water.

Finally hearing them, Jacob turned around and met her eyes, then looked at her from head to toe and back to her eyes again.

"Cady," he greeted. He looked her up and down again, making her feel self-conscious. His eyes moved past her to Henry. "Hey, man."

Henry nodded his greeting, and they all three stood on the overlook. She gripped Jacob's hand and took in the rocky scenery and descending forest beyond the cliff. The area faced a breathtaking sunset.

"You ready for this?" she asked Jacob.

"Ready," he replied, his focus on her.

Henry gestured them to come closer to the glass bowl of water.

"The bride and groom have a ceremonial washing of hands to wash away past evils and memories of past loves," Henry said.

Jacob stood tall, shoulders back and his eyes on hers. Cady and Jacob took each other's hands and dipped them into the water. She rubbed her thumbs across the creases of his palm, brushing the pads of each of his fingers. He moved his hands over hers, sliding his palm across hers.

It felt nice, this simple act. Their hands gently caressed each other's, making her lips turn up at the edges.

"As your sponsor, I am making a commitment to help you as a couple."

"Thank you," Cady said. Jacob nodded his own thanks.

She was trying so hard to keep her hands from shaking as she squeezed the ring in her grip.

"Do you, Cady and Jacob, choose to be known as husband and wife?"

"I do," she said.

"I do," Jacob said softly.

Taking her hand, Jacob slowly slid a silver band over her ring finger, then allowing Cady to do the same for him. The ring fit her perfectly, matching the diamond engagement ring she'd been wearing for a month now.

He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a pipe, lighting it and taking a smoke. Blowing the smoke out, he passed it to Cady. She smoked from the pipe for a moment, her chest burning. Jacob held out a a bag of tobacco to Henry. Part of the ceremony included offering the officiant tobacco, and Henry accepted the gift graciously before reading out a poem for them.

" _Now you will feel no rain,_

 _For each of you will be shelter to the other._

 _Now you will feel no cold,_

 _For each of you will be warmth to the other._

 _Now there is no more loneliness,_

 _For each of you will be companion to the other._

 _Now you are two bodies,_

 _But there is only one life before you._

 _Go now to your dwelling place_

 _To enter into the days of your togetherness_

 _And may your days be good and long upon the earth."_

Henry declared them husband and wife, making her Cady Longmire-Nighthorse officially. And then Jacob's hands reached up to hold her face carefully. She tried to comprehend the surreal fact that this amazing person was hers as he leaned in and kissed Cady softly, like it was the first time he'd ever done it. She let the feel of the simple softness of his lips send a shock through her, but it lasted only a moment as he already pulled away, too soon. Underneath his unflappable expression was a deep joy that echoed her own.

Henry pulled a camera out of his back pocket and held it up. "Smile," he said.

She felt Jacob's arm slip around her waist as she beamed at the camera.

Cady smiled warmly up at Jacob. "That was our first picture together, you know."

"I suppose it was." He kissed her hand.

Henry began descending the mountain, giving the two time to themselves. Cady looked up to Jacob, finding his expression telling her he needed to say something more.

"I know I will not always be what you want me to be. I might forget to listen or forget to share. I might not always agree. I might be stubborn and I might be wrongheaded, but I will always love you."

Jacob's words caused her eyes to sting from pure joy. She smiled through her tears and nodded, too choked to respond.

She wasn't going to let that stop her though. "I love you," she said, even though her throat was tight and her voice was cracked and uneven. "So much."

He kissed her on her lips one more time, this time Cady throwing her arms around his neck shamelessly.

"Let's go home."

THE END


End file.
